Next morning the same thugs arrived, yelling: All the women from age l8 to 45 have to come to the main floor, with three days food and warm clothing, the same as it was with the men. Anyu was out of her mind, what will happen to us? Two young children, in a strange city, among strangers, under the horrible circumstances, and nobody to ask for help! She wanted to hide, but the superintendent had a list and asked people by name to go down. She said: when the group will leave, and the gate is still open, take each others hand, (she took off our yellow star from our coats) and walk to Kiraly street. Margit Nagymama's three sisters lived there and it was the closest address, and stay with them. You can not bring any parcel with you, it could be suspicious, but two children walking on the street, you might make it. I won't put any comment how we felt, because it is impossible. There was such confusion downstairs, everybody clinging to their loved ones, children to mothers, mothers to daughters, because the only people left behind were grandmothers and young grandchildren. Finally the gates were open, I took Jancsi behind a column on the corridor, watched Anyu go by, and before the gates closed, started to walk with him. Anyu could see that we were walking on the sidewalk and we lost sight of each other.

I don't remember how did we get into the Kende's apartment on Kiraly utca, but we did. We had nothing to bring them, no food, no clothing for us. Food was the biggest problem, because to find the daily food, you had to go to the grocer every day. The stores did not have enough to sell more than the basic necessity, and there were vouchers to buy anything. October l5th came so suddenly, shopping stopped, so everybody only ate what was in their meagre possession. The summer was so uncertain, and the distribution of supplies from the country to Budapest was not organized. The industry was mostly in Jewish hands, and there were no Jews in the country. Most Hungarian households bought vegetables and fruits from the market, and cooked and preserved for the winter. Also you bought poultry, saved the lard, and salted or smoked part of the meat. This summer none of these things were possible. Sugar, flour was only available if you had vouchers. The only preserves it was possible to have, were from the years before. Families who stayed in their own apartment, when houses were declared yellow star houses, had to empty spaces for the ones who moved in with them. For that reason they ate a good part of those preserves. The families who moved in, left most of their food in the old apartment. In one word, Budapest, and specially the Jews were very hungry. Kende Giza neni and her husband Jeno bacsi were in their own apartment, but Giza neni's sisters, Horvath Olga neni and husband Jozsi bacsi (the latter was the youngest, and 60 years old, so he was taken away two days before) and Goldheimer Szidi neni and Jozsi bacsi moved in with them in the spring. There was hardly any food supply left in the house. The Kendes were around 70 years old, and the Goldheimers close to 80, neither of them had any children of their own. Imagine their surprise, when they found two children at their door. Of course they took us in, they loved us, we visited them in normal circumstances with Nagymama and Nagypapa, they also owed lots of gratitude to them, but these were not exactly normal circumstances. There was no bed, no food, no warm clothing for us, and winter came rapidly and there was no coal or wood to heat the place. Luckily, one hour daily curfew came into effect in a few days, and Jeno bacsi was able to walk with us to Nagypapa's side of the family, Perczel Jozsi bacsi, his wife Margit neni, and Nagypapa's sister from Siklos whose name was also Margit neni. She was luckily in Budapest visiting her granddaughter on the l9th of March. She could not go home, so she was not deported from Siklos, but her daughter and family were. In the three room apartment one room belonged to Margit neni's granddaughter Baby who was married to a lawyer named Neuman Fritzi, they had a daughter Marika, who was three years younger then me. Next room belonged to the Perczel's son (the fat dentist, you remember Tomi?) Pali, his wife (who was a Christian and was willing to move in with the rest of the family, her name was Dalma neni) they had two little boys, Gyuri (same age as Jancsi) and Tomi, two years younger. The third room belonged to the elder Perczel family and Ibi with them. Fritzi and Pali were taken away on October 16, but escaped from their group. Ibi was taken on October 17, the same time as Anyu. Ibi came home from the transport, escaped very smartly, as she said, she did not like the prospects, so just left. She was a real Budapest girl, knew all the houses with two entrance gates and when her group was walking on the street, she jumped into one of these houses and left through the other door.

All these people lived in a three-room, one kitchen and one bathroom apartment, Csaky u. 24, originally a fairly new modern building. The food situation was the same as in the Kende house, but they took us in without any comment, and here was Ibi neni, whom we knew very well, she stayed in our house in Fehervar very often, and we also liked Lengyel Margit neni, who was a kind of mother to Anyu. The food mainly consisted of beans and split peas. Baby tried to feed her daughter with a little larger portion than the rest of us got, and when Margit neni was present, she put a good portion of hers on our plate. Ibi also gave us some of hers. By then it was already November, it was cold, no material to heat the place, and we did not have any spare clothing, and it was impossible to buy. I am sure, we were a big problem under the circumstances. Joska bacsi was a dentist, and he had a job at the Swiss Embassy, he had some paper against the curfew from the Embassy so he was allowed to stay outside for a longer period. One day he came home with a very happy face, saying, that he probably found the solution for us. The Embassy received a request from Szent Endre, from the Grof (Lord) Kuen-Hedervary family, (Jozsi bacsi overheard when they were talking) they would like to save two Jewish children, would like to take them into their castle. The only request was, that the children should be baptized, so they would behave like all the other refugee family members in the household, who came to live with them from Transylvania. Everybody will be told, that the children are also family members so the servants will not be suspicious. The family was religious Roman Catholic, and the children had to behave as if the ceremonies are natural to them. Perczel Joska bacsi will try to convince the person who was in charge, he found the perfect children for the job. Dalma neni and Ibi have to sit down and teach us the Catholic ceremonies. We went through so many happenings during the last half year, this was just a new challenge. I knew, Apuka would not agree to change our religion, but we don't really have to, just say that we did. He also said, we have to live through these bad times, and I have to help Jancsi to survive. We spend two days to learn to do everything properly, and Joska bacsi received the yes from the Embassy. I guess Dalma neni and Ibi said a few prayers, so we will be all right! On that night around 9PM Joska bacsi and Ibi took us downstairs and waited until somebody rang the bell, and a lady took the two “Christian” children (with no stars) into her black car, and the chauffeur drove on.

Now Jancsi and I were on our own, and we had to take care of each other. Jancsi was sitting beside me on the back seat of that car, he came as close to me as it was possible, and I just hugged him. The lady was very nice, but did not say too much, just asked if we were comfortable enough. The drive was not long, and we arrived at a huge iron gate, a black iron fence all around, and in the back a building. Dogs were barking loudly (I was afraid of dogs). The gate opened, the car stopped at the front of the house. A lady came out, hurried us to go inside, our lady from the car also came in, and the new one said: Somebody told the authorities of our plan, and just now, the fascists are here in the building, looking for Jews. She showed us into a room, please stay quiet. When you will hear sounds from the corridor, go into the bathroom and hide beside the toilet. She will put a folding screen at the front of the toilet and be absolutely quite, don't make any sound, please! She also promised to bring us some food, she knew how hungry we must be. The two ladies left, one came back with a plate full of plain noodles. In Hungary we love noodles, it is a desert and we topped it with walnut and sugar, or poppy seed and sugar, chocolate powder sugar, or roasted cream of wheat with sugar, but the one the lady brought in was just plain. Jancsi looked at it, (it was the first meal without beans or yellow peas) and started to complain: I thought at least the Lords eat it with some topping and sugar!? For the frightened little seven year old boy, that was the problem!! There was a couch in the room, I sat down, let Jancsi lay down beside me, and waited for some noise, so we should hide. The lady who brought us the food came in for a second, and simply said; go and hide now! We did. I hugged Jancsi with all my might and kept him silent. People came into the room, we heard men’s voices. Somebody came into the bathroom, but did not remove the screen or look behind. They stayed in the room for a little while, and left. Jancsi and I did not dare to move. In a few minutes, the lady from the car came in, she said the fascists left, could not find anybody, but we could not stay here, because they might come back. The black car will come back, and will take us to a safer place. The car came, and both ladies hugged us, and said not to worry, everything will be fine. It was about midnight, when we were in the car again. That trip was very short again, and the car stopped at the front of a similar large house with many pillars. A lovely lady and gentleman came out, gave us a big hug, said they were Jozsi bacsi and Maria neni, and their name is Teleky. We are at a safe place, they showed us a beautiful room with our own bathroom. On the other side of the bathroom were their own children's bedroom and close by the French governess' room. We will meet everybody in the morning, right now, just go to bed and sleep. There were twin beds in the room, but as soon as everybody left us alone, Jancsi climbed into mine, and we fell asleep hugging each other.

Next morning we found out, we are in Pomaz, at the Lord Teleky Jozsef estate. He was the son of the former minister Lord Teleky Pal, who killed himself at the beginning of the War during l940. Now his son tried what he could do for two Jewish children, who where lucky enough to be us.

His children's names were Gabor; he was the same age as I and Terez a year older. We had clean warm clothes to dress, had a WARM BATH (there were still such luxuries in the world?!) and led to the dining-room for breakfast. If we thought we were in dreamland until then, what we saw there was the proof!! A huge table, set for about 20 or more people, at the end of the room was another large table full of all kinds of food we thought did not exist anymore, and servants to serve that glorious food! Beside our plate was a silver dish filled with small balls of butter and another one with all kind of jams. Bread, hot buns, croissants, were offered, and CHOCOLATE MILK for Jancsi! On top of that, the servants offered hot foods. Was it true, we were not dreaming? The table was set similarly for lunch and supper, the big meal was lunch, that is the Hungarian way. For the last two meals, everybody was seated, and the servants came in with serving dishes in their hands, and offered the dish to each person who had to take as much and whatever they wanted. Jancsi could not serve himself, he was never served that way, so I helped him, but he learned the hang of it soon. We had delicious hot soups, meats, vegetables, potatoes and deserts. It looked like we were sitting at Erzsi neni's table! After breakfast we had different programs arranged by the governess. Studying, piano lessons, and playtime for us. We could play in the beautiful garden, walk at our heart desire, we were FREE to do anything! We were introduced to everybody (the other refugee relatives from Transylvania and servants) as relatives who temporarily lost their parents. There were lots of children. We had to attend the church service, but tried to imitate what the others did, and we did not make any major mistakes. To put it briefly, after all the horrors we saw and lived since March, we lived a "normal" life, except we worried so much first for Anyu, and than Apu and everybody else. We could tell all our worries to Maria neni and Jozsi bacsi, but not to anybody else. We had another worry, and did not dare to mention it to anybody. In the Columbus camp, I got lice, in my very wavy thick set of hair. We reported to the health office at once, got some medicine to wash my hair, and it was completely cleared up. We had no problem with it in the Terez korut apartment, but here in that beautiful place, I found lice in my hair again, probably got it in one of the crowded apartments where cleaning was a big problem. I should have told this to someone and would get rid of it in a jiffy, but I was so ashamed I kept it to myself. It would have saved lots of troubles later!

We spent about one month with the Telekys, when they invited us into their bedroom. Jozsi bacsi put us on his lap, just like Apuka used to do, and told us he received a letter from Anyu. She is in Budapest in a "Vedett haz" in a so-called Safe House. All the Jews in Budapest are in the ghetto, and it is surrounded by a wall, nobody could go in or out, the food situation and the cold, is unimaginable. There are some Safe houses, under the authorities of different embassies, and Anyu is in one of those. Apart from not being situated in the ghetto the crowd, the food situation is not much better than in the ghetto. These houses had less possibilities for a raid from the fascist hoodlums, but it was not impossible. (He did not mentioned Wallenberg’s name, but the Safe house was his invention, and other embassies followed his example). Anyu got our address from the Perczels, and is thanking our generous host and hostess, but she would like to have us with her. Jozsi bacsi said: I could not bring your mother here, there are street fights close to the city, the fascist’s arrogance has no borderline, it is simply not possible. I am willing to go to Budapest, talk to your mother, show her pictures of you, so she can see, you are really happy and well, and I can keep you here in that safe place. The other choice is, I can take you to your mother if that is what you want, but I strongly advise against it. Both of us said it at once: we would like to go to Anyuka, whatever will happen, we want to be with her. He and Maria neni hugged us, and said, they can understand that, and hope God will be with us. Next day, his beautiful coach with uniformed coachmen stopped at the door, we were dressed warmly, had a small parcel containing some clothes and food, and were seated in the coach beside Jozsi bacsi. Pomaz is about a l5 minutes ride by car from Budapest, in the coach it took about 3 hours. There was so much chaos on the street, blockades, soldiers, fascist hoodlums, but seeing the Teleky coat of arms on the coach, we were not stopped. Finally we arrived at a house on Klauzal square, at the border of the ghetto. Jozsi bacsi got off and we went into the house with him. We found a building, filled with human beings, there was hardly a place to stand, people sat everywhere, on the stairs, on the cement floor. Jozsi bacsi asked somebody where the office was. We don't have any such thing. Who are we looking for: Gams Imrene,(Mrs. Imre Gams). A young boy was willing to go up the staircase and yell her name, maybe we will be lucky. We stayed on the side, beautifully dressed, clean, and kept our eyes on the staircase, but nobody who resembled Anyu came down. We proudly told the Telekys about our family, our Mother, who dressed as nice as Maria neni, who spoke languages, was in school in Switzerland, played the piano, and Apuka who was in the family business, etc. All of a sudden, a beggar in rags ran down the stairs, she was at least l00 years old, unkempt, and had her hands around us, crying and laughing at the same time, could only say: thanks God, I could see them again! It was our Anyuka, the most beautiful in the world for us, and we hugged and kissed and did it again! Jozsi bacsi just stood beside us, tears in his eyes. He told Anyu, she could see how well we are, he is willing to take us back with him, but he could not take her. Please let us go! There was no way, we could leave Anyu, the three of us have to stay together, and we did. Jozsi bacsi reluctantly left us with her. We were probably the only people who voluntarily walked into the brick factory in Fehervar, and most probably the only ones who did it again in Budapest to the ghetto border, in a coach with the coachman, and a Lord sitting beside us! The Telekys were wonderful, there is no way we could express our thanks to them. They were playing with their own and their children’s lifes; it was horribly dangerous to hide Jews!

Now comes the story of our second miracle, or maybe the third, because our spending time with the Telekys was also a miracle.

The men and women picked up from the houses with a yellow star following the Szalasi putsch, were taken to different places, the only deciding factor was their luck. Some were taken to the Danube (Duna) river, and shot into the almost frozen river. Some had just a small wound and jumped in the water and were able to swim ashore, and told their story. Here in Ottawa, we knew a couple, whose l4 year old son was shot into the river. The fascist did not believe he was not l6 only l4 years old, because he was tall.

Other groups were taken to the railway yard, and shipped to concentration camps in Poland or Austria. That was the time when Wallenberg got into the action, and got the idea to give so-called passports to people who had some connection to Sweden. With the passports they were declared Swedish citizens. Other Embassies followed the example, there were Swiss, Spanish, Vatican passports for the few who were able to get them. Some fascists accepted the passports, some did not, but it saved many lives. Later, when the Jews had to go to the ghetto, they took over some buildings in the city, and declared they belonged to such and such an Embassy, and no Hungarian authority could go in. Again everything depended on luck, some fascist did not accept the sign, but some did.

First there were rail wagons to take people to camps, but the city was more and more surrounded by the Russian Army. The later groups had to walk to Austria. The time was November, cold, rainy, snowy. Many women left the building in high heel shoes, they did not own anything else. Imagine that walk, and if you stopped, they shot you. Most women were taken to the Loverseny palya (Horse racing field).There was no roof over their heads, and l944 had been one of the worst winters. People were taken to different places from there. The most unlucky people had to walk to Austria, the rest had more chance to stay alive. That was the place Ibi fled from successfully, she had her blond curls, blue eyes, dressed well, and when a transport left, she simply walked away. Anyu was also one of the luckier ones, she only stayed at the horse race track one day, and her group was taken to some barrack on an island across Szent Endre, called Horany. (The place Jancsi and I originally went to from the Perczels). They had to do some work on the island, she said she did everything they told her, because she had to stay alive and get back to us. She was able to send a letter to the Perczels, somehow she knew, eventually we will get there, and asked: do they know where we are? She received an answer, with our address in Szent Endre. We were less than one km away!! The girl, who was always the family's favourite spoiled darling, somebody always took care of her, became a lioness who had to defend her children. She left the camp at night, found a boat with oars (how good were her boating experiences on the Balaton) and crossed the water (which was not too wide at that point). It was not very difficult to find the castle in the middle of the small village. It was late at night, around ll o'clock. Found the iron gate, pulled the bell. All she heard was the dogs barking, when finally an old man came. Anyu asked to see the two children who are staying with the Kuen Hedervarys. There are no children staying here. Sorry. She was devastated. Most probably the person who picked up the children from the Perzcels, killed them! The children did not arrive here, and should have been here for weeks. If the children are dead, there is nothing to live for; she could not prove to Apu that she took care of them, if he ever comes home. What could she do now? She looked haggard, had no papers, just walked in Szent Endre, she is a prey to any soldier, so she may as well go to the river and kill herself. She walked to the river and found herself at the Boat Station. A soldier with his gun was sitting there. He looked at Anyu and asked her, are you waiting for the Boat to Budapest? Do you know the schedule when will it come? Yes, she is waiting for the Boat and no, she does not know the schedule. Why don't you sit down, said the soldier, you look tired. She did so. The soldier started to say, he had one week furlough, did not see his family for three month, hardly can wait to get home. He is a soldier on the island across the water, has to watch the munkaszolgalatos women. Poor souls, they had to work so hard, and the end of war is so close, he hopes they will survive. Anyu was so terrified,she could not speak. The soldier talked more. It could be difficult to get to his hometown, because part of the Russian Army already fights in the Dunantul (part of Hungary, between Budapest and Austria). Finally Anyu asked, which city is his hometown? Szekesfehervar, was his answer. She could not believe her ears. She said, she is from one of the surrounding villages of Fehervar and knows the city well, they always did their shopping in that city. Oh, said the soldier, where did you do your shopping? Anyu mentioned some Christian stores. The soldier said, I liked the Jewish stores more. Bought my shoes always at the Pollaks, my clothing at the Gams store near the market. Anyu decided, after hearing all that, what can she lose, she will tell him who she was, and she did so. The soldier's behavior was unbelievable. He said, don't worry, I will take good care of you. Anyu told him the children's story, she thinks we are dead. His answer was, he will find out what happened. He gave some money to her, some food and told her, when the boat comes, he will pretend that she is his prisoner and just play along. When they arrived to Pest, he made some phone calls, and put Anyu in that Safe House on Klauzal square. Bought some food, and brought it to her. Tried to find the Perczels (who were in a Swiss safe house), got our address from them. Mailed a letter from Anyu to the Telekys and waited in Budapest, until we arrived. He came to visit us, again with food, and as his prisoners, took us out from that horrible crowded house and put us in a Spanish safe house, Rakoczy st.14. Found a room for us (enough room to put our blanket down! What luxury it was!) Only left to go to his family, when he saw we were relatively o.k. I can't write any commentary to all this, because it is impossible! The man was rewarded when we got home to Fehervar.

Once a day we got some warm soup in the building. The rest of the time we used as little as possible of the bread, bacon and jam, we had from the soldier. The luckiest people were the ones from Budapest, who were smart enough to mix lard, flour, and red paprika in a jar, took a spoonful from the bottle and boiled it with water. It was a light soup with some nourishment. A lady in our room gave some of that to us. Meanwhile the siege of Budapest was on. We had no more air raids, the big Russian guns were shooting continuously. People started to move to the air-raid shelter, but it was so crowded some started to move into the coal cellar. We wanted to stay upstairs until it was impossible, hated the thought to live underground. Also with inflated money, sometimes it was possible to buy some bread or other food from the street. There was no more daily soup in the building. The guns were so loud, and it was too dangerous to stay upstairs, so we also moved into the coal cellar. By that time the lice in my hair spread to Anyu and Jancsi. There was not enough water to drink, certainly not enough to wash, but at least it was not that cold in the cellar. On the afternoon when we moved to the cellar, the room in which we stayed upstairs got a direct hit, the exact corner which was ours. Another miracle? Anyu was able to buy some beans and yellow peas, we had a pot, lots of coal and some wood, we made a small fire and cooked these items. It was never possible to cook it well, it was always hard, but it was something in our stomach. We moved to the cellar around the beginning of l945, lived there about 2-3 weeks. By the middle of January everybody lived in the cellar, the fights were on the city streets. On the l8th of January, somebody started to shout, there is a strange soldier in the courtyard! We were as quiet as it was possible. All of a sudden, soldiers came down the stairs, talking a strange language; Russians!!! We are FREE! FINALLY, REALLY FREE, AND ALIVE!! How can I describe this! All the dirty, lice filled, tired, worried people ran upstairs, and many of us to the streets! Our street and the ghetto was free, but a part of Pest was not, and Buda took another month before it was free. There were gunshots around us, but we did not care. Most of the people had relatives in the ghetto, they ran to find them. A large truck came by, stopped and distributed Russian bread, the square kind, like we have here in America. There were dead horses on the streets, people ran and started to cut them up to eat. We tried to find the old people, Margit Nagymama's sisters and husbands. The Goldheimers died in the ghetto, without food and heat, the 80 years olds just gave up. The rest were alive! We walked toward Klauzal square, in one of the shopwindow a frozen old dead man sat. There were dead people all around the ghetto, there was no space to bury them. When we got back to our "home" there was a big hole in the front of the building, a gunshot hole; it reminded us, that the war is not over yet, even if we are free!

Here, I will insert my father’s letter we received for our parents wedding anniversary. Jancsi did the excellent translation into English.

Sarvar, June 1st 1944.

My Dear Magduska!

By the will of the Good Lord, we cannot celebrate that unforgettable day, the 8th of June together for the first time in our living life.

By the will of the Good Lord. This gives me strength and this will give you strength also, my darling life, to bear the present calamity of fate. Because the punishment originates only from Him. Because I sinned, I was wrong in what I had done somewhere, sometime. I trust in Him that those who can so severely punish their own can also forgive. Although by the will of God we are now eating the bread of our bitter fate, by His will we will also partake in the happier future.

If we were wrong in anything it is our duty to admit it, our duty to regret it. I have already finished one school in this regard. It seems it was only at the elementary level. Regretfully, the Lord God had seen it necessary for me to matriculate in this regard also. Still, we can think only with gratitude in our hearts of the Grace of the Good Lord because He gave us many happy years in which our happiness for each other was exclusive. We received many happy years from Him, when He gave us our darling little Treasures. In his infinite mercy He blessed us with parents who lived only for us, and who by the grace of God, are still alive, who laboured so much for us and whose protective parental care makes it more bearable for you to wait for the arrival of the endurable peace amongst the people. Their life is their strong faith which they implanted in us and made it possible for us to believe the Good did not perish on Earth, the time for peace will come.

My Darling Angel, at noon on June 8th, both of us, at the same time will pray to the Good God; first of all giving thanks for all the good things He gave us so far, and then to ask Him -if people like us are still allowed to ask- to take our Treasures under His protective care. If He finds it necessary for us to live for them, give us life. If He finds that our willing offer of nurturing labour is a necessary for them, give us the strength and opportunity for this labour. He should give us faith, strength, health, forbearing and peace for the entire Earth.

My Darling Angel, take double care of yourself. Take care so you will be able to suffer all that fate still holds for us in reserve, whatever it may be. Be careful for the sake of our little Angels whom you have to take care of alone in the absence of their Father. Be calm, sober, thoughtful. Do not ever allow temper or emotion take hold of you because the soul of a child can only be nurtured by calm, relaxed behaviour. Loud handling will evoke only defiance in the soul of the child.

They have developed so nicely thus far, they have meant so much, such great happiness for me, I beg you take good care of them. It is their little beings that give me the strongest will to live in this place, to survive this age, whatever is the price, so we may live for them. This is Life itself.

Fourteen years. Full with (sadness, troubles(. I also say (do not think of the trouble(. I very strongly believe the future still holds sweet years for us. Everything passes by but the close contact, love, happiness of two people, if they desire it, want it above all else for the beauty, for our two children- these two pillars of my life- you gave me. I thank you for the faith, the happy years and for that hope that peace means to me. That in the coming peace we may live in increasing appreciation of each other. I am sending you my best wishes, my strong faith in the Good God that our future life proffers much beauty, goodness and happiness for us. Let us pray at noon on June 8th that it may be so.

Kiss you a thousand and a thousand times with grateful love, your Imre

My Darling Little Angels!

The anniversary of your parents is your anniversary also, Think of the Good God on this day. Pray to Him with holiness in your pure souls. Even if He now punishes your parents, beg Him to forgive their sins just as your parents never think long in anger of you. Let your prayers be received in grace by Him.

Be obedient, good children. And study, learn every day. Veruka be strong assistance to her mother. I believe it will be so. Think of me with such love that I am thinking all the time of you with worrying, with anxious love.

Kissing both of you, your very loving father.

(Where he talks about finishing school in the elementary level he meant his time in Komarom in the Frigyes Barrack).

PART THREE.

Budapest was still under siege when Rakoczy ut. 14 and the Ghetto were liberated.. Because the mortars were still flying, people stayed put wherever they were for a few days, but soon everybody wanted to go home. Buildings were bombed and shelled, nobody knew what happened to their homes, but they wanted to know if any of their former possessions still remained, and wanted to start a new life as soon as it was possible. All the people around us were from Budapest, so they had an address to start, but where could we go? From the coal-cellar we moved back into the room at Rakoczu ut. 14 (our Safe House). It was the room which was shelled after we moved into the coal-cellar.

We knew, that the owners will come back sooner or later and we have to move. After the liberation we had no sources to find food except the few times we got bread from the Russian soldiers. Our first priority was food. We heard, the former Stummer chocolate factory was close to our building and it’s door (somebody broke it!) was open. Everybody was looting there, so the three of us run to the factory, maybe we will find something eatable. In one of the room there were large sacks, filled with something. There was not much time to look what was in them, because the place was full with hungry people, so we just grabbed a sack (it was heavy) carried down the stairway, pulled and pushed it on the street and finally got it to our room. It didn’t contained chocolates! To extract sugar from the carrots, the factory had to divide the fibre and the sugar. Our sack contained the leftover fibre from that production. It was very hard, tasteless, but something to chew on and it was possible to swallow it, so under the circumstances it was a great find. Now, that we had "food", we had to find accommodation. Anyu had an idea, we probably should move into Gams Eva's apartment. It has a double purpose, if Evi will come back, she would go there first, and we will hear what happened to the family. So we pulled our sack of "food", some clothing we had from the Telekys and walked to Rozsa St. which was a good distance. First we checked our apartment on Terez korut, but the building had a direct hit from a bomb, so none of our belongings from there were available. It was a long, difficult walk, the streets full of debris, dead horses, dead bodies and holes from the bombing and shelling, which was still going on. When we finally arrived, the building was not too badly damaged, Evi's apartment was undamaged, but the corner unit, beside her apartment was hit by a bomb. The kitchen and the bathroom were intact, you could walk into these rooms off the corridor, but the other side of the corridor looked into a big emptiness. It was cut off as if sliced with a knife. We had no problem opening Evi's apartment, probably the bomb broke the kitchen window, but Anyu did not want to move us into her place, because we had lice, we were so dirty, so we occupied the kitchen and bathroom in the bombed apartment, next door. We only took a mattress, down-filled-blanket, pillow, a pot for cooking, plates, forks, knives, and a sheet to cover the window, because it was all open, and it was cold in January, 1945. We had running water in the kitchen, so that was "home". We had to buy some food, but we did not have any money, so Anyu took a Herendi vase from Evi's apartment and sold it on the street (everybody did that). On this money we got food for a few days. We had a wood stove, but no firewood, but that was the smallest problem. The apartment-house, and the street were full of debris. We collected garbage from the street; paper, wood pieces and use them as firewood. All day we lay on the mattress, all 3 of us under the down-filled-blanket to keep warm.

Anyu heard on the street, that on Sip Street, the Jewish Community Centre received money from the American Jewish help fund (called JOINT) and they have a soup kitchen where warm food was available daily at lunchtime. Sip street was in the former Ghetto, so we had to walk back there every day to eat. First all three of us went, but it was too long for Jancsi, so either Anyu or I went. One particular cold day, Anyu decided, she will try to get some more help for us from the Centre, because our situation was really desperate. The three of us walked on the corridor and opened a door among many. There were two men in that room, and Anyu could not believe her eyes, because she knew both of them. They were Szekulesz Laci and Deutsch Bandi from Gyor, both of them were munkaszolgalatos with Apu in Fehervar, and both of them and their wives became very close friends. The wives stayed in our apartment more often than anybody else, so they could visit their husbands. They were related, and owned an umbrella factory. Bandi and his wife Anni were newly- weds in l943 and she was pregnant in l944. Bandi and Laci did not recognize Anyu in the rags she was wearing. She had no shoes, only a pair of badly worn boots we found in the bombed apartment, the zipper did not work and she held it together with a piece of string. Also her coat wasn’t in better shape. Of course when she started to speak they recognized her and offered any help they could give. They only stayed in Budapest for a few days, wanted to go home to Gyor, even when there was still fighting on the way, because their loved ones will go there.(None of them came back, and Bandi when he heard the truth, killed himself). They came to our kitchen, brought some potatoes and sausage, and most important; some better firewood. People tried the larger broken-window’s glass pieces and cardboard to glue together as temporary windows. Laci and Bandi used this method to make us a window. It was much warmer than the sheet we had there before. They heard there was no more fighting in Buda and there was a temporary wooden bridge between Buda and Pest. In Buda there was a working bathhouse where clothes could be sterilized while the person takes a bath so we could get rid of lice.

We gathered all our worldly possessions, eiderdown (duvet), pillow, sheet, and walked to that place. It took us 4 hours to walk one way, and the parcel was bulky and heavy. We had one large potato, sliced it to very thin pieces, baked on the stove, and that was our food for the day. When we arrived Jancsi was separated; he had to go through the men’s entrance. We had to undress, people took away our parcel and clothes and we had to enter the shower room. The water was nice and warm, but the room where we had to wait for our clean clothes was unheated and ice cold. Anyu and I tried to warm ourselves hugging each other, but we were so worried about Jancsi, the poor little boy will freeze. When we were dressed and finally met, Jancsi happily told us, there was one bathtub in the room with warm water and a man sat in it. When he saw Jancsi all by himself, he picked him up and put him in the tub with him, so he was the only one among us nice and warm. Our clothes were clean and the body lice were gone, but there were still plenty in my hair.

In February Anyu started to be very sick, had high fever and she was so weak could hardly stand. She still went to Sip street daily, to get some food for us, but she had to hold on to the buildings for support. We still had one dish, all three of us ate from it and drank water from one cup.

Jancsi remembers, Anyu found a boys orphanage run by priests and they were willing to take Jancsi in. Anyu thought, at least he will have regular food. It was a very bad place, the food was yellow peas and on the top of the dish you could see dead worms. When the little boys complained, the priests said, that was all the food they had, take it or leave it. They called him the "little Jew full with lice". They had to go to church regularly, and that was the place where he wet himself, because he did not get permission to leave. The priests send him back to us after that.

One day, Jancsi was still in that orphanage, Anyu came home, and collapsed on the kitchen floor. I thought the cause was her sickness, but it was not the only reason. She met boys in Sip Street’s Soup Kitchen, who came back from living hell, and it is the place where all our loved ones were taken. All the people who stood in line for food circled these boys, and asked them, perhaps they know something about their relatives. The boys, who were living skeletons only asked: were your loved ones older, or did they have children younger than l4? If the answer is yes, don't wait for them, they will never come back, they were killed in a place called Auschwitz. (This was the first time we heard the name of that city).If you wait for younger relatives, there could be a chance that they are alive, but they are very sick and recuperating somewhere in Poland or Germany, they might come back in the summer. Don't have your hopes high, very few people are alive! Anyu said that nobody wanted to believe this story, it is impossible, all the children, their mothers and the older people from Hungary's countryside are dead??!! The poor boys kept repeating, they are telling the truth! It is an interesting note, one of those boys was your Dad, Tomi. He was liberated in Auschwitz at the end of January, he recuperated from his leg operation in Krakow, and came to Budapest with one of the first trains (on the top of the wagons). He went to the Community Centre from the station, and met more boys there. He and the others were only l6-l7 years old, and the JOINT took care of them. He met people who stood in the line in the soup kitchen, and told them about Auschwitz. Joska was one of the first persons who came back to Hungary.

For us this day was the worst since June. During all the difficult time in l944, we had hope. As Apuka said, we will have horrible days ahead, but we have to survive, because there will be good days again. We had to believe that, otherwise we could not go on, and now we realized, there will never be good days again! How can we go on living without our family? We still hoped Apuka and his Brothers will come home, also Bandi bacsi, Ili neni's husband who was munkaszolgalatos. We also had a chance to see Gyuri, his mother, Evi and perhaps Juci. To understand, that Pollak Nagypapa, Margit Nagymama, Ili neni, Miki, Gams Nagymama, Klari and Panni neni were suffocated in a gas chamber, NO, that is impossible we could never, but NEVER acccept THAT!! They have no graves, they just disappeared into nothing!?
The two of us just hugged, and cried, our world ended on that day. Anyu's fever got worse, she was not able to get up from the mattress. From that day, I went to Sip Street, to get our daily soup, we still had to survive, if we got this far!

At the beginning of March I was standing in line in the soup kitchen, when I saw people and did not believed my eyes! A few spaces ahead of me were Gathy Laci and Keller Gyuri. I knew that Laci was in Auschwitz, because I saw him in the Brick factory talking to Juci, so he can tell if all the horrible things we heard are true. Keller Gyuri was munkaszolgalatos, maybe he knows where our Gyuri is? I run to them, but first they did not recognized me (no wonder!). How happy they were to see me!! They promised to help us, and Gyuri is in Budapest, they will tell him to come and see us at 95 Rozsa St. Unfortunately, the bad news we heard from the boys about Auschwitz was true.

Our Gyuri was at Rozsa St. almost before I got home. The four of us are alive! Well, three of us yes, but Anyu was in a very bad shape. Gyuri took her into a hospital and they kept her there, she had parathyphus. It was the third miracle in our life, we eat from the same pot, used the same cup, hugged together all day long, Jancsi and I were very weak and undernourished to say the least, and did not catch Anyu's sickness! The next day Gyuri got Jancsi and took us into a camp which was run by the JOINT and took care of the orphaned and very sick children from the Ghetto. Finally, they cured my head-lice, they cut all my hair so I was bald. My head was full of huge sores and inflamed. The nurses covered my head with medicated cream and we got vitamin pills. Jancsi's head was also bald, but he did not have the sores. We got good food at that place and got stronger. Gyuri came to visit us and brought news of Anyu, she was getting better. We stayed there until the middle of April. We heard, that the fighting was over between Fehervar and Budapest. Fehervar changed hands twice, Germans, Russians, Germans again, and than finally the Russians. Gyuri and Anyu decided as soon as Anyu can leave the hospital, we will try to go home to Fehervar. Gyuri left a couple of days earlier than we did.

About a week before Jancsi's 8th birthday April l945, we gathered our few possessions and walked to the Kelenfold railroad station. It was also a good 4-5 hours walk. There were no scheduled trains yet; the whole country was in a total chaos. A million people were in the station, sitting on the platform; they all wanted to go home. When a train came, everybody tried to run and get on first, and find out later where the train is going. Well, Anyu was not in very good shape to run, and we had to stay together, because otherwise we would never meet in that crowd. Somehow we got to an open railroad wagon, soldiers were sitting in it. They helped us to climb in and were nice to us. Finally the train left the station, but not far, when we reached the village of Erd, the train stopped. The soldiers with their rifles jumped down and we could hear shooting. A little while later the soldiers came back, and the train started again. We heard, Russian soldiers wanted to stop the train to do some looting, but the Hungarian soldiers chased them away. It took us two days to get to Fehervar (normally it is a one hour train ride), the distance is 70km. The Fehervar Station had only one working track, the building and the tracks were in ruins. We jumped from the wagon, and we were home!

As we heard later on, the day after the Jews were taken away from Fehervar, the first of many allied bombing started. The city had a patron saint, called Prohaszka Ottokar,(who was a bishop earlier) and he was supposed to save the city from disasters. It seems, after the city was willing to do such a barbaric act as the deportation of 4,000 of fellow citizens, Prohaszka gave up saving the rest of the population. Szekesfehervar is centrally located between Austria and Budapest, and it is a very important railroad center. The bombs destroyed the railroad station and the surrounding area. Also as I said before, the city changed hands back and forth between the German and Russian armies, there were street-fights, cannonball fires, there were hardly any buildings without some damage. The Russian army was also merciless with the population . Women were raped, husbands or older fathers who were still home, were shot because they tried to save their women. Everybody was robbed. The Germans were also cruel when they took over the city the second time. There is a grave in the Jewish cemetery close to the main entrance, I knew some munkaszolgalatos were buried there, now I know their stories. There were some munkaszolgalatos units not far from Fehervar. When the Russians took the city the first time, the men from Fehervar left the munkaszolgalatos barracks to go home. Among them Braun Gyula, Banyai Edit's father, Rosner Imre, Szekely Marta's father, and a Gams Imre, who knew he had some relatives in the city, and wanted to visit us. We heard his story from Gams Pali bacsi (originally from Szabadka former Hungarian later Yugoslav city) a few years ago, when Jancsi found him in Toronto and he was first cousin to Apuka. Gams Pali and Imre were brothers. If we would have heard his name when we came back to Fehervar, we would be certain, that he was Apu. These people were trapped when the German army took the city back, and were killed.

When we left the railroad station, on that April day in 1945, all we could see were ruins. Around 1942-43 the city had a plan to build a new modern section around the railway station. According to the plans new villas and small apartment houses will be built and the main thoroughfare will go through Ujvarkorut. The Developers just started to build during 1943. Pollak Nagypapa was one of the first to buy the land and build a villa there. Nagypapa and Margit Nagymama were planing to retire in their new villa. The villa was carefully planned, according to their own needs. It was a bungalow, no more stairs to walk up, like they had to do on the Main St. building. It was very spacious, modern and beautiful. We had a large garden in front of it. Our Saturday or Sunday walks always ended there, to see how the work to our building progresses. If I remember well, it was finished in the autumn of l943 and it was ready to move in, which was planned for the spring of l944.

We had to pass Ujvarkorut to go home from the station, and there was not one building standing. Our Grandparents will never move into their lost dream house! Assets could be replaced, but their life was taken away and that was the larger tragedy!! We just stood at the front of our ruins, they would never move into that new house.

As we walked closer to the centre of the city, more and more houses still stood, so maybe, just maybe, ours will be o.k.! We walked through Simor Streets, the Orthodox Synagogue was gone, but some buildings were standing, dirty, windowless, full with gunshot holes, but standing. We reached Szogyeny Marich Street and our house was there! We run to the door, it was open. When we looked inside we could see, it is dangerous to walk in. The entrance corridor was full of garbage, and there was a strange light inside. Somehow by this time Gyuri arrived and said, we could not go in yet, there is a hole through the middle of the house, a bomb fell through, but it did not explode, it is still in the house. The bomb fell through right at the front of our apartment door. There are also two dead Russian soldiers on the street floor. He already asked the authorities to remove them, and then we can try to go in and look around. He walked with us to Simor St, Keller Rozsi neni's house, it was just a block away from our house. Rozsi neni was the first person who came home from Auschwitz, and she met her husband at home, who came home from munkaszolgalat. At the time, they were the only couple (Jewish) in Fehervar. Unfortunately her husband Feri bacsi had syphilis, he had it since his youth. He got through munkaszolgalat, walked home, and never took another step in his life, from then on he was in a wheelchair and died 3 years later. He was also a tailor, and related through Gams Nagymama (same relative as Keller Gyuri). They did not have any children (when his diagnosis came back positive, they realized why) and that saved Rozsi neni's life. She had very old aunts, who lived in a small apartment beside Rozsi neni’s, and she took care of them for many years. In Auschwitz somebody asked if anybody had any nursing experience, and she volunteered. It turned out, she became a nurse for Mengele's medical experiments with twins. She saw the sub-zero temperature experiments, the sterilization experiments, she saw everything. She had a reputation of an angel from heaven. She helped the unfortunate people in any way she could. Anybody who knew her in the camp; worshipped her. On the day she arrived home, she started to write her memoirs, and she wrote as much as she could remember. Years later she sent it to the Wiesenthal Centre. She wanted to be a witness on Mengele's trial, unfortunately it never happened. Tomi, you met her in l970, we visited her in her house, unfortunately she died before our next, l978 visit. We visited her niece and her family in Australia, the Grossz Family.

I have to go back to the day, we arrived at Fehervar. Gyuri discussed our arrival with Rozsi neni and Feri bacsi. The best idea for us was to move into their house, take the old aunts room, and stay there for awhile. Anyu was still very weak from her illness, and all three of us were in shock, when Rozsi neni informed us, that all the horrible things we heard in Pest are true. Feri bacsi was a second father to us. It was nice to have two children living with them, it helped their own grief, because many members of their families were lost. They were also very strong willed people. They opened the tailor shop days after their arrival (their house was in relatively good shape, including the store), and because everybody in the city was in rags, tailoring was a highly demanding profession. Feri bacsi taught Rozsi neni how to cut, sew, etc, and when he was unable to work, Rozsi neni did the job. Because they had the business, they also had income, could buy food, clothing. At the time Anyu was not in shape to start our new life, and the Kellers help was very much appreciated and needed. Gal Bozsi worked in the Illes Grocery Store, it was on the opposite side of Simor St. and the day after our arrival we visited her in the store. None of us could speak, all we could do was crying, hugging and kissing each other. She also baked and cooked for us, and brought it over before she started to work in the mornings. Rozsi neni thought that Jancsi and I should go to school, so we would not loose a year in our study. Jancsi was enrolled in the Sar Street elementary school, which was the closest, so he started grade 2 in May l945. It was not the same quality school as the Jewish one and all his little friends were missing, but it kept him occupied and life had to go on. My hair still did not grow very much and there were lots of scars on my head, I was very much ashamed of my baldness and did not want to see anybody. Rozsi neni made me a nice scarf, taught me how to tie it and kept telling me, I was still pretty. Anyu took me to the polgari and talked to the Principal Sister, asked her opinion, how could I save my year. The sisters were extemely helpful during April l944, and they were so upset when they heard what happened to all the little Jewish children from their school, they definitely wanted to help the one and only who came back. She suggested, I start school next day, the other children are also behind, because of all the fights in Fehervar, try to keep up with them, and after school I can stay longer, and the sisters will teach me all the subjects I missed at the beginning of the year. I had to take an exam at the end of June, I passed without any problem, so neither Jancsi or I lost a year.

I will never forget the first day of school. The first I ever had without Klari, and Stern Ibi was the other little friend in my class; missing. My classmates did not know how to treat me, did not know what to say, how to behave towards me. I was a stranger, who came back from death. In our classes we had benches for two people, my partner was Klari, and the teachers did not put anybody else on my bench during those two months. There was a closer route from Rozsi neni to school than my old route from Szogyeny Marich Street, but I took the old route every day, passed Klari's house first. I did not have any friend in the class, I kept asking myself, how come they are all here, except the ones I loved most!

The Pollak house was all right, some windows were broken, the store windows were all broken, but the house itself survived. My grandparents’ furniture was heavy, Victorian style, probably it was too difficult to move them two floors down, on a winding stairway, so the dining room cabinets, the living room's bookcase, the children's room dresser and clothes wardrobe were intact, (of course empty) and left at the same place my Grandparent left it. The obvious choice should have been to move into that apartment, but all three of us wanted to go home to Szogyeny Marich Street, because when Apu will come home, that is the place he will look for us. Meanwhile during May l945, the dead Russian soldier's body were taken away, the bomb squad removed the unexploded bomb. We were able to investigate our house. We could go up on the stairs, but between the last stair and our apartment's front door was a huge gap, that was the place where the bomb fell through. We put a long wood-plank to cover the hole and were able to enter the apartment. All our furniture was stored in the store's workroom downstairs before we had to move to Jokai St. There was no strange furniture in the apartment. In the children's room, the bookcase was still on the wall. All the stoves (we had one in each room to heat during the winter) were there. We opened the one in the bedroom and found letters from Apu, Andor and Laci bacsi, written from Sarvar. Somebody took them in from the mailbox and threw them into the stove. Luckily the person did not light the stove. Obviously, nobody lived in our apartment since we left. We looked in the workroom and found a smaller cabinet (we called the liquor cabinet) and a clothes wardrobe in there; the rest of our and all of Gyuri's parents furniture were gone. We entered the store. It was hard to walk, because it was so full of rubbish. Broken plaster, wood pieces, buttons, paper, dirt, dirt, dirt. Suddenly one of us yelled, I found a photograph from our album! We run there, cleared some of the dirt, and found the whole album almost intact! It was the best surprise, it was proof that our former life was not a dream, our loved ones were real people and a year earlier were here among us!

I forget to mention, when we saw Nagypapa's apartment and discovered the dining room's large cabinet, Jancsi ran to the drawer which was always filled up with all kind of goodies for us: chocolate, cookies, bananas, oranges. He pulled the drawer, the well known smell was still there, but the drawer was empty!

A walker on the street saw us looking through the dirt in the store and recognized us. Came in to tell Anyu, that some of our paintings and probably some furniture was taken by a family in the first house on Lepcso Street. Anyu went there and recognized the paintings, among them the Schubert picture from Bernath Aurel, the one which is hanging in our living room here in Ottawa. If I remember well, there was the painting of the Zichy park with the fiakers, and another one of a park scene with benches. These pictures are in Gyuri's apartment in Fehervar. We also found our bed, but it was so dirty and in a horrible shape, we did not want it. I don't have to tell, that the family who stole our things, were not too happy to see Anyu! She had a policeman with her when she picked up our belongings.

Our next sad trip was to go to Szolohegy (Grape-hills) to see Ili neni's house. The building was relatively intact, inside it was empty. Again, one neighbour told us, that most of the Lubeck furniture were taken by an other neighbour. When Anyu visited them, they were nasty and did not want to let her enter. Anyu came back with a policeman, and found the red plush dining room set, the vitrine , and the kitchen cabinet, table and chairs, there. The policeman took a note of the findings, and everything was kept there until we found somebody to move all Nagypapa's Ili neni's and our furniture into our apartment. Keller Rozsi neni loaned us some beds, and we moved home, about a year later; then we were forced to move out. All the furniture I described are still in Gyuri bacsi's apartment, still useable after 60 or 80 years (according to whether they belonged to Nagypapa or Ili neni).

A bricklayer fixed the hole at the front of the apartment, and Gyuri moved in with us. His apartment was still not cleaned up, but otherwise there was no damage. He found somewhere Laci bacsi and Panni neni's living room furniture, went to investigate with a policeman, and the furniture was moved to our place. We also found our piano, a full size black beautiful piece made by Schweihab, and it belonged originally to my real grandmother. With all this furniture, the apartment was furnished, we only needed our own beds. We were ready to have Apuka and the rest of the family who survived. Bozsi neni, and Eva, Gyuri's Mother and sister were the only ones who came home during the summer of l945. We could not believe, that neither Apuka nor his Brothers or Lubeck Bandi won't be home sooner or later. There were so many rumours, sightings, specially about Bandi bacsi. He was coming home from munkaszolgalat by train, and was taken off the train by Russian soldiers filling up their quota of prisoners, to send to a prisoner of war camp in Russia. Nobody heard from him since.

Bozsi neni and Gyuri cleaned up their apartment and moved into by the fall. Eva went straight to Budapest, her husband Matyi also survived the munkaszolgalat.

Anyu became sick again during the summer of l945, and it was typhus again. Ili neni had a maid called Bozsi, and her sister Juliska was Nagymama's maid. They lived in Seregelyes, a small village near Fehervar. When they heard how sick Anyu was and there was only Jancsi and me to take care of her, first one, then the other came to stay with us. Our valuables were mostly gone, taken by the Russians according to the people we trusted with them. The Szasz family (the head cutter in the store) gave us back the Herendi dish set, (we have a few pieces in my vitrine), some linen and money. We also got some money from one of Nagypapa's customer who saw Anyu on the street and told her that he gave him some money in trust and thought Anyu is entitled to have it. (There were some good people in Fehervar after all). We lived on that money for almost a year, because Anyu was too weak to work. When she recovered, one of the salesman in Nagypapa's store Latics Ferenc came to see her with a proposition. He had some money saved, if Anyu could get some too, they could reopen the shoe store as partners. We had to start a new life, Anyu had to make a living to bring us up, and that sounded a very good suggestion. She sold the land on Varkorut (where Nagypapa's new house was built and bombed) and on that money, Latics and Anyu opened Pollak Rezso Cipohaza during the spring of l946. When the store needed more money to buy merchandise, Anyu sold half of the store's floor-space for a grocer. The shoe-store was still big enough. With the location and the name, business was good, and it helped Anyu to spend her time working instead of sitting home and waiting for Apuka. Juliska stayed with us after Anyu recovered and she took care of the house and us. Life started to normalize somehow.

During September l945 Jancsi started grade three in the Sar Street school and I started grade four (grade eight in Canada) polgari. My hair started to grow, I had some new clothes. My classmates were in my class in May and June. They knew how difficult my life was without Klari and Stern Ibi, but they did not realize how long will it take until I was not hurting so much! So many other terrible things happened in the city. I was not "news" anymore. Children are adaptable human beings, somebody sat beside me in my bench, I was again just one of the girls. I needed a good friend desperately. I talked to the girls in my class, but it was just a show, I was still hurting badly.

During the summer of l945 the surviving Jews started to come home from munkaszolgalat or Auschwitz. Most of them young l6-30 years old, all of them under 45. The women mostly younger, unmarried or still childless, the men mostly munkaszolgalat aged. Everybody expected to find some family member, very few did. The natural thing to do was to get paired off and married. Most of them looked for somebody they knew from their former life. Anyu not only lost her family, but also all of her friends. She was 34 years old, so were her friends, and all those had children, ergo they died. Anyu was the only women in Fehervar with two children. The men who came home from munkaszolgalat were her friends' husbands. The closest was Gergely Jeno, he was one of Apu's best friend, and his wife Evi neni was Ili neni’s best friend, and of course Anyu's too. He was the only one who came to see us almost as a family member. I guess he would have been the one Anyu would marry, but a few days after his return, he went to the yellow star house his family was forced to move in and a week later taken to the Brick factory, and jumped from the balcony. He was killed instantly. He had a son Tibi l0 years old, and a daughter Zsuzsi seven years old, the same age as Jancsi.

The American JOINT opened an office in Fehervar and all the other cities in Hungary, to help the survivors. They had shelters for a few days, soup kitchen, and had a warehouse with clothing and canned food. We got our first new clothing from there, and regular food packages. That was the place where I met Erdelyi Edit. Of course I knew her before l944, but she was two years older, went to gymnasium instead of polgary, so our paths did not cross. She lived in Szent Korona Street, straight across from the house where Laci bacsi and family lived. That house was relatively new, four storeys high, and became the Gestapo headquarters. That was the house Apu and his brothers had to go and report on the first of May 1944. When the two Jucis, Klari and I went to school, we met Edit often, of course she took the same route. She was two years older than Klari and I and two years younger than Juci, and according to the custom of the time, we just greeted each other, but did not became close friends.

Edit's father was a successful lawyer. He married his secretary who was not Jewish. This did not happened very often in Fehervar. He was a very respected man and stayed in the Jewish social circuit, but was smart enough to baptised his daughter Edit, when she was born. If he would have been baptised at the same time, he would have survived the horrors, but he kept his original faith. During l944, when we had to move to a yellow star house and later to the Brick factory, persons who had a Christian wife or husband could stay with their family. A week after June l4, l944, (a week after the Jews were deported from Fehervar) the csendors (Gendarmes) came to their homes, picked up the Jewish husband, wife or children, and deported them. Nobody came back from that group.

Nothing happened to Edit personally, but everybody in her class knew what happened to her father, and in their eyes, she became a Jew too. Also during l945 she and her mother Mariska neni were expecting back her father just as we were waiting for Apu. All of a sudden, the two years age difference disappeared, Edit and I became very close friends. Nobody could replace Klari, but Edit became the closest person to the role. We had so much in common, we could discuss all our problems with somebody who really understood them. Anyu and Mariska neni also became friends, but not as close as Edit and I.

One of the men who came home from munkaszolgalat, Lowinger Dezso bacsi married a widow from Budapest, Inci neni. She had a son, same age as Jancsi, called Kenez Peter. The two boys went to the same school, were classmates and best friends. Anyu and Inci neni also became close friends. It was so important to have these friends, nobody could replace family, but these special people tried to fill the space. Inci neni and Peter moved to Fehervar when Inci neni and Dezso bacsi married.

Apu had a very good friend, they met when Apu was munkaszolgalatos in Fehervar during l942. His name was Weisz Imre, they were the same age. His wife was Emmi neni and they lived in a small village near Fehervar, called Ercsi. He had a butcher-shop there. We visited this couple in Ercsi often. They lived in a beautiful house and had a lovely horse and buggy. We loved to visit them, always had a good time.

Imre bacsi came back from Auschwitz, but his wife did not. He met Apu there, but later was transferred someplace else. During the winter of l946 he came to see us, and became a frequent visitor. He often said, we should get far away from Hungary, after Auschwitz, we have no reason to live there. He had relatives in the States, and will move there in the near future, and wanted to marry Anyu before he leaves, so we could go together. He would have been the best person to marry Anyu, and she was willing to do so, except for me and Jancsi. We were totally against it. How could anybody replace Apuka? He could still come home! We don't need any stranger in the family! Every time he came to visit us, Jancsi and I stood in the children’s room beside the stove and wouldn't move from there until he left. Children could be selfish, we needed a good man in our family, specially Anyu and the person who replaced Imre bacsi was a terrible replacement. Looking back, our life would have been much easier if we had left Hungary and gone to the United States around l946. It is also true, that we never accepted Apu's death, even when we came to Canada. I wrote a letter to Gyuri to Fehervar every time we moved so he could tell Apu when he looked for us. Even after Tomi was born, I hoped, that he will see my son. It wasn't really unrealistic, because people came home even during the sixties from Russian prisoner-of-war camps. Many Jews were deported to Russia when they were on their way home from the concentration camps.