PART TWO.

The war started in l939, but at the beginning it did not change our lifes very much. During l941 Lord Teleky Pal, the prime minister of Hungary killed himself, because he signed a no-attack agreement with Jugoslavia, and a week later the Hungarians under German pressure attacked Jugoslavia. As a member of the Hungarian aristocracy, he could not live with the shame. (This will be an important happening for us personally, as you will see reading my story). There were different laws against the Jews, a limited number could go to University, only First World War veterans’ children could go to the gymnasium. Limited number of Jews could work for the Government, but these did not affect our family’s daily life. Because of the war, men of a certain age had to go into the Army, but until l94l Jews went to the regular Army. Hungary was ruled by Horty Miklos, who was the Governor General, and he did not love the Jews, but he was not a fascist. l941 brought the first major change, the Jewish soldiers were not part of the regular Army anymore, they had lost their ranks (if they had any before), they had no uniform, wore civilian clothes and on their arm, had to wear a yellow armband. If they changed their religion, a white armband was required. The Army cap was the only remainder from the regular Army. We learned about a new law; Jewish shoe store owners could only sell shoes with artificial soles, not with leather soles. As I remember this was the first law that affected us, but the customers were so loyal to Nagypapa's store, they stayed with us, and on market day, we still had line-ups at the front of the store. Also, I mentioned before, during l940 our auto, a Styer 220, was requisitioned by the Army with its chauffeur Kakas Janos.

Also during l941 first Lubeck Bandi (Ili neni's husband) and later Apu received their "invitation" to the Slave labour army, (I will call it the Hungarian way, munkaszolgalat). It was terrible for poor Ili neni, they were never separated since they married. They really were so much in love! They called each other "ides" a nice slang way to say "my sweet." Nagypapa also missed him in the store. He tried his very best to keep his daughter's faith and told her things will get better and he will be home soon! Half a year later Apu received his "calling card" and Nagypapa had two daughters who were extremely worried. Toward the end of l941 the Russian front opened and many munkaszolgalatos were sent there in horrible ways, with cruel fascist officers and without warm clothes. The news from Russia became worse, when the fatality lists arrived. The Jewish munkaszolgalatos men were replacing the minesweepers. Many of the regular soldiers were extremely brutal. Close friends got terrible news daily, and I don't think even I could feel what Anyu and Ili neni felt under those circumstances. During l94l none of our loved one had to go to Russia. I don't remember where Bandi bacsi was, but I know where Apu was. In Komarom, at the Frigyes Barracks, and it had a very bad reputation. The commandant was a brutal fascist. Jancsi was four years old at the time, and one morning when he sat beside Anyu who was reading the newspaper, he started to read it loudly. Anyu did not believe that the little boy learned to read all by himself, but he did. Anyu always said, what helped Apu during those horrible months at the Frigyes was all the news Anyu wrote about Jancsi's reading ability. He told everyone about his "miracle" son. Also Jancsi proved to be able to write too, and between Anyu's and my letters, he also found the ones from Jancsi. He kept those letters with him all the time! For a few months we were not able to visit him, and than a letter came. Sunday afternoon will be visiting day. It was early fall, because everything was still green and we were wearing light coats (isn't it interesting, that I remember even that after 52 years?) Surrounding the barracks (it was an early army fortification originally) were low hills, and from the top of those hills you could see the lawn of the fortification. The hills were full with relatives who came from all over Hungary to meet their loved ones. Nagypapa came with us, so we were a four-some, Nagypapa, Anyu, Jancsi and me. At the given time probably around four o'clock the relatives could hardly wait to have the gates open. Instead of opening the gate, all the munkaszolgalatos had to gather on the inside lawn, perfectly visible for us. They were ordered to take strained exercises, pushups, crawl on the dusty road. They were hardly able to breathe, looked dirty and haggard, when finally the gates were opened. I remember Apu's face like it was yesterday, sweaty, and tired, and so but so happy! We had an hour together. The first half hour we just hugged each other. After that he showed and introduced us to his friends proudly presenting his miracle son! Jancsi remembers that we were surprised to see him with a mustache. We were sitting under a tree with his friends’ families and a lady asked him, why did he grow the mustache? He smiled impishly made a forth and back motion with his finger under his nose and replied: it just grows there! They had hardly enough to eat, and he was very eager to open the parcel we brought for him, but before he opened the parcel he let us put our hand in his “special pocket” and there was our favourite candy! I can't imagine where he got it from!

During that year, Andor bacsi's daughter Evi got married. Apu loved her so much, and she was the first child in the family to marry. Her fiancé was from around Szeged, the village's name was Kistelek, and his name was Beck Matyas. Apu wanted to come home for the wedding. He asked for a special permission to do so. The brute, he had to ask for the permission, told him he can go, but he has to perform certain tasks. He had to do some difficult exercises and after he had to clean the latrines with a toothbrush. He kept saying, if the job is not done satisfactorily he will beat him to do a "better" job. The end result was, that because he had open wounds on his legs and had to work on the latrines, his leg got very badly infected. He was allowed to stay in the sickroom until it got reasonably better, but from then on, he was often sick, the wounds repeatedly opened up. From then on he was very careful so his leg was clean and healthy. He was also able to come home for the wedding, and it was held in our apartment, I can still remember it clearly. We don't know what happened to him during 1944 in Auschwitz, but the rumour is, that these wounds opened up again, and in those circumstances, there was no cure for it and it was the cause of his death.

During the winter of l942 I became sick with scarlet fever. According to Hungarian health regulations, the household with a sick patient had to put a red sticker on the front door. It said nobody is allowed to come and go through that door. Anyu and Jancsi moved to the Pollak house, Gams Nagymama and Bozsi stayed with me in our apartment. Apu was still in the Frigyes, and Anyu did not write to him about my sickness so he would not worry.

ccording to a family story, one morning Anyu woke up, and told everybody, that tomorrow Imre will come home. She went to her hairdresser to have her hair done, bought new clothes. Nagypapa and everybody in the family told her, it is fine to do these things, but under the circumstances, there is not much chance for his arrival. Next morning somebody came to our apartment and knocked on the door. We had a daily food order from a family member and the food was left at the front door. This knock was too early! Nagymama tried to ignore the noise, because of the red sticker, people could not come in. All of a sudden, Apu's voice; My dearest Mother, don't you open the door for me, it is I Imre!! (I could her his voice clearly, even today!) Nagymama ran to the door and forgot the rules, opened the door. There he was, with one of the best news: he got transferred to barracks in Fehervar. His guard who transferred him from Komarom to Fehervar was willing to stop at our house first, before reporting at the barracks. Of course for a huge amount of reward. Anyu had the dream the day before and it became reality. He came to my room, but wouldn't come to my bed, because them he could not visit Anyu and Jancsi, and might infect them. Just stood far away from me, and cried, and hugged Nagymama. He also had the raspberry hard candy, my favourite, in his pocket!

The times he had in the Fehervar barracks were much easier both for him and us. We could visit him often, bring him home-made food, and he was able to visit us sometimes. The gatekeeper in the barracks was a customer in our store and with mother’s idea, he was willing to 'rent' a room by the hour to the munkaszolgalatos man and their families. We constantly had a guest in our house, families who came to visit their loved one and met them in "that" room for the evening. The officer who was in charge of the barracks closed his eyes about these activities. During the fall of l943 Apu was discharged from the "Army", because the age limit to be a soldier or munkaszolgalatos became 42.

For a relatively short time life was almost normal for our family but later that year Ili neni's husband, Bandi bacsi was sent to the Russian front.

It was the time when life started to go from bad to worse. During the winter of l943 the nineteen-year-old Gams Gyuri had to report to the army’s labour battalion. He was stationed in Urkut a mining village not far from Fehervar. At the time he went there the family was very worried. We couldn't know, that it will save his life. After l945, far more men came back from munkaszolgalat than from the Holocaust. If the labour battalion’s commandant was a human being, people had a chance to survive. In these exceptional places nobody was killed for the sake of killing.

Apu was discharged from the labour battalion during 1943. He was constantly in touch with his friends who stayed in the Szekesfehervar barracks. A short while after he left the barracks, a new commandant took over the battalion. The new officer was a sadist, and the men became overworked and hungry. Anyu gathered her friends, and organized a “women’s brigade”. Daily they made sandwiches and met the men on their way to work. These ladies walked on the sidewalk beside the men, and gave them sandwiches, there were enough for everybody. This was a dangerous mission, the guards were watching all the time and would not hesitate to shoot!

I also remember, two French escaped prisoners of war, arrived to Szekesfehervar and were hiding somewhere. Anyu was asked to be in contact with them, because she spoke the language. Without any hesitation she agreed. Juci, Laci bacsi’s older daughter also spoke French and helped Anyu. Unfortunately I don’t remember anything else about them, except one of them was called Rénée.

There was a very funny new operetta titled Fekete Peter played in Budapest, and the play was also presented in Fehervar with a very good review. Anyu and Apu went to see it, and found it good enough for Klari and me to go and see it. We were pre-teens, closer to 12 than to 11 and were in grade two polgary. We had tickets on March l9, a Sunday afternoon at the two o'clock performance and Gal Bozsi was our companion. The show was excellent. We enjoyed it very much. At the end, when we stepped out from the theatre’s staircase (the theatre was on Main Street) we were surprised to see lots of tanks going down the street. That never happened before, the tanks were usually on Budai Street, where the barracks were. Looking closer, the soldiers were wearing a different uniform, gray and not khaki which was the colour of the Hungarian Army. Before we started to panic, Apuka met us looking 100 years older than we left him just a couple of hours ago. Why did you come and get us when we have Bozsi with us? was my first question? Unfortunately Hungary is occupied by the German Army. The tanks you see now, are German, and they have a reputation not to like Jews. I came to take you home safely. When we got home (Bozsi got Klari home) he gathered Jancsi, Anyu and me in his arms and cried: “This is the beginning of the end of us,” were his words. And almost at the end of the war, when the invasion of France is almost here! He listened to the Hungarian version of the BBC news every day. It was at the evening hour, and I remember he took the radio to the bathroom when he took his bath, so he would not miss a second from it. Every time I hear Beethoven's Fifth first bars, I visualize Apu with his hopeful eyes listening to BBC. Anyu tried to console him, we are in Hungary, Horty would not let the Germans harm us, you will see. Nothing could console my always optimist father, no, nobody and nothing can save us! He kept saying, why didn't we go to Australia, why didn't he make plans to save his family! If we won't survive, it will be his fault!

The day after the Gams family got together and also the Pollaks to discuss what to do to save ourselves. The whole Jewish community of Hungary was asking the same question. Everybody was paralysed with fear, but could not find the answer. We were optimistic about our government. They won't let drastic things happen to us, so close to the end of the war. The best thing is to go and do what we will be asked, at the end it will be for our own good. The first incident happened a few days after the occupation. The Gams house on Szogyen Marich utca (street) was a twin building, our entrance was to Szogyen Marich street, the other building's entrance was to another small street. You had to take stairs to enter that street, called Lepcso utca (Stairs st.) On the other side of the twin building a non-Jewish family lived. In the attic, we had a wooden wall separating our attic spaces. We woke up about midnight for loud pounding at our street door (a heavy, huge, wooden door). We heard yelling; open up your gate, you Jewish swine! Apu dressed Jancsi and me, got the frightened Anyu and Bozsi, and in the darkness run up the attic stairs, where we met Andor bacsi, Bozsi neni and Evi. (Evi was married and lived in Budapest, but came home, because she was frightened by herself, her husband was munkaszolgalatos). Probably thinking ahead and discussed with the family living in the twin building, there was an opening on the attic wall, we got through and left through the Lepcso utca entrance. I don't know where Andor bacsi's family went, but we found a taxi and arrived to our cutter's house, his name was Mr. Szasz. He lived in a small house at a part of Fehervar, called Alsovaros (Lower town). He worried that because he was working for us, perhaps the thugs will ask him about our whereabouts, so he asked his neighbour across the street, if he would give us refuge. He was happy to do that, and Bozsi stayed with the Szasz family, and the four of us went across the street. I remember, that it was a very small house, a kitchen and a room. The family moved to the kitchen and gave us their only room. We were safely in bed, Jancsi and me between our parents, and I fell asleep, but I don't think my parents did. We stayed there three days, but eventually got home. Apu ordered an iron gate inside a few feet from the main entrance, he thought it would save us!

From then on we had new laws coming in effect daily. First Jews were not allowed to have telephones, radios. The so-called volks-radios were O.K. but you could listen only to Budapest I. and II, no other channel (certainly not BBC). We had to make a list of all our valuables, art pieces, Persian carpets, etc. Gold, and silver, had to be brought to the Jewish Community Centre. The Germans made the demands to the President of the centre, and he sent messengers all over the City to tell us. It was the only way of communication, because we had no telephones. Bicycles were the next things to go. That was specially hard for us, because I had a beautiful bike I was extemely fond of, and Jancsi's was a small one, custom-made. The next law was the yellow star, and we had to sew it on April 4th, it was Miki's 8th birthday, and he was screaming, that he was not Jewish! The day before, Apuka, Kalman Bela bacsi, and the rest of our tailors who where still working (many of them had to go into the army) made yellow stars, and gave them to all our friends, anybody who came to claim them. The stars had to be sewn on, so everybody needed several for different dresses or shirts. The first day we had to wear them, the nuns in the school were waiting for the Jewish children at the entrance gate. They tore off our stars, saying: Everybody is the same in the eyes of the Lord and in His House and Presence nobody will be discriminated. They sewed them on before we went home, and they did it every day while we were allowed to go to school. School was finished for us at the end of April, the Jewish kids got report cards, all straight "A"s, so hopefully we could go back to school in September with such good grades. The nuns were exceptionally brave and good. This was the only time we came home with such good report cards, but Andor bacsi was otherwise occupied and forget to give us our reward!

The school where Miki went to grade two, belonged to the same nuns. He was treated the same way as us, excepts, he was the only one in the lower grades who had to wear a star, all the other Jewish kids went to the Jewish elementary school. Miki was a real problem, his father was away, his mother so worried about him, and she had to explain things to an extemely smart eight year old, which were very hard to explain. He simply could not understand who he was! Apuka was smart, when he said no to Nagypapa years ago, because the little water on Ili neni, Bandi bacsi and Miki's head, did not save any of them.

All Jewish stores had to be closed. The owners had to make an inventory of all the merchandise and equipment. The Bank accounts were also closed and the store keys were given to the authorities. Of course everybody tried to save whatever it was possible, and give things to trusted friends. Most of the things we tried to save went to the Szasz family. We were not allowed to have any servant in the house, so Bozsi had to go, and from Nagypapa's house, Erzsi neni, who lived in that house for almost 20 years. Margit nagymama fell from some stairs at the end of February and broke her leg. It was in a cast for six weeks, but still hurt her when the cast was taken off and she always had to put her leg on a stool when she sat down, and walked with difficulty and with a cane. She needed help with everyday things and was devastated without one. At that time we found out, Mr. Dus who was the head salesman in Nagypapa's store was also Jewish, his parents were christened before he was born, he was about 50 years old, and just found out the "truth". He and his wife lived on the first floor of the Pollak house, and they volunteered to help in anything they could, and their help was very much appreciated.

About the l5th of April, Nagypapa was "invited" to one of the new offices of the Hungarian "csendor" (Gendarme, the provincial police,) who became the best helpers to the Germans and the Fascists. The address was on Kegli Gyorgy utca. (Street) We did not know at the time what was the purpose of that office, because Nagypapa was among the first "visitors". Well, the office was created to help to find the hidden treasures from the rich Jews. Any means were allowed to be used and they beat people mercilessly. Nagypapa was a small man, about 5'5” and weighed about l70 pounds. He liked good food and had a paunch-tummy. He had rubber-stick marks all over his body, but the worst were on his heels and soles, that were just raw meat. He was thrown from the building into the street. When Mr. Dus got the message, that he could come home, but he was not able to, he ran to Anyu and Apu to help bring him home. Jews were not allowed to use a taxi or konflis, (horse and wagon) the only thing they could find was a large wheelbarrow, and that was the way he came home. Apu and Mr. Dus put him to bed and Anyu ran to find a doctor, who gave him something for the pain. In the double bed, Nagymama was on one side with her hurting leg, and Nagypapa on the other side. After seven o'clock PM. Jews were not allowed to be on the street until six AM. During that night, Mr. Dus came to our house to fetch Anyu and Apu again. He went upstairs to check on my grandparents and they didn't respond. He used his key to go inside. He found them in deep sleep and wouldn(t wake up. There is the empty bottle of the painkiller on the floor beside the bed. Anyu and Apu ran over. Meanwhile, Mrs. Dus got the doctor, and their stomachs were pumped and lives saved. It was one of the most hurting memories for Anyu, she kept blaming herself, why did she do that? They would have died at home, in their own bed! It only proves, that we are human beings, and act like that even in the most terrifying circumstances. At the time the only thought in her head was to save her beloved father! Beside the bed was a long letter to Anyu and Ili neni, to say goodbye, and a list of all the places he had money, mostly in Switzerland, England and USA. The Csendor's could not get hold of any of his assets, because there wasn't much in Hungary and that’s why they beat him so badly. He did not hide many things in Hungary, because he knew, the value of the things outside of the country, outweighed the risk of hiding anything at home. Anyu did not even read that letter, just tore it apart, saying she does not want anything from him, she only wants him alive! Next day Ili neni and Miki moved in with them from Szolohegy. Nagypapa's wounds healed very slowly, he had diabetes, and it took him a couple of weeks before he could get around with crutches.

On the first of May, we just sat down to have lunch, when somebody from the drugstore across the street came upstairs and told Apu, the Police Department phoned and wanted to see the three Gams brothers, first at the German Headquarters, and after at the Hungarian Police Station beside the Zichy park. The German Headquarter was the apartment building across the street from the house where Laci bacsi lived on Szent Korona utca. (The four storey house which became the German Headquarters had to be evacuated after the German occupation, in 24 hours. Among the people who lived there was Erdelyi (Varnai) Edit and her family. Apu, Andor bacsi and all of us (If I remember right, even Bozsi neni came) went to Laci bacsi's apartment. We all got kissed, and the men walked to across the street. The whole family stayed on Laci bacsi's balcony, waiting what will happen. A couple of hours later they left the building with a Hungarian police escort. They waved to us and yelled, they should be home tonight. They were wrong. We had to go home before the curfew, but there was no word from the men. Next day, a friendly policeman, who knew Apu and his brothers from the business, came and told us unofficially, that all three of them are detained in the jail. They don't know why, nobody gave them any reason. At least they were together in one jail, and we could send them clean clothes and food with that policeman.

The news was devastating, what will happen to them, and what will happen to us? There was not one male member in the family, except Pollak Nagypapa, still very ill. I was the one who kept the hope among us, because I kept saying, I never had a birthday without Apuka, even when he was munkaszolgalatos I got a letter from him, so by the 8th of May, the men will come home. Meanwhile, we got words: We can visit our men, one family at the time. The only exception was Gams Nagymama, she was allowed to visit all three of her sons. I remember when Nagymama, Anyu, Jancsi and I visited Apu. They were kept in a cell in the basement. Andor bacsi and Laci bacsi were ordered to an office upstairs. All three of them came up the stairs together. Andor bacsi and Laci bacsi hugged us and sent their love to their close family, and left. That was the last time I have seen my beloved uncles. On the 7th of May we got words, that my uncles will be taken away next day, on my birthday. We cried for them and hoped for Apuka, and I still said, he will come home on my birthday! We waited, and waited, but he did not come and there was no message from him. Meanwhile Bozsi neni, Evi, Panni neni, Juci, Klari and Nagymama went to the railway station to say goodbye to Andor and Laci bacsi. I could only imagine the vision, but unfortunately not for long because four days later we received a message; Apu will be taken away the same way as his brothers. The only reason the police kept Apu longer in Fehervar, because the three dirty Jew brothers, should not stay together. We also heard that Apu will join them in a larger jail in Budapest. Later they will be taken to an internment camp. They were never charged. There was no reason given why did they take them from us originally.

Now I come to the few lines, one of the hardest I will write in this memoir. The goodbye at that railway station is as clear as it was yesterday, and I still cry when I think about it and now, when I write it. We had to be at the station by l0 AM. Anyu, Jancsi, Nagymama and me. He was in the waiting room with the others who will be transferred with him. We knew, there was a good possibility, it will be our last goodbye. Nagymama said goodbye to her last remaining son, the youngest! What could we say to each other? He was very worried about Anyu, she always lived such a sheltered life, somebody always took care of her, first Nagypapa, and later Apu. He repeatedly asked Nagymama, to be with us always, and help Anyu to cope with the situation and all the situations that will come. You are so strong my dearest Mother, stay with them from now on. Finally he talked to me: you are my big girl, and I could always trust you with everything, I trust you to help and take care of your little brother and your mother I will pray to God to keep you safe, but beside God, I need your help too. These are difficult times, God is testing us for some reason, but He is good, and good times will come after the evil, but we have to stay alive. Promise me, as long as you live, you will help and love and take care of Anyu and Jancsi. I promised!! He kept saying to Anyu, she has to stay strong for the children’s sake. He wants to see us after all the bad times the way we are now. Nothing else matters, but staying alive! Jancsikam, be a good boy, do everything you are told, and be the man of the family. The bad times cannot be for long, and then I will come back and we will be together again! The hour passed so quickly! We had to leave the cosy waiting room and go to the platform. The train was already there, the engine sent smoke into the air and the whistles sounded. He was the last to get on the train and stopped on the last step. The train started to move and we walked beside the slowly moving train. All of a sudden, seven year old Jancsi started to cry, “Apuka, don't go, don't leave us!!” Apu was brave until then, but at Jancsi's voice, he broke down, he picked him up, hugged him, and said: I will be home soon, my son, I will be back, Nagymama took him away from Apu's arms as the train picked up speed. That was the only time in his life, he lied, but in a way he did come back, first in l962 when Tomi was born in September, which was his birthday month, and many years later, when Jancsi had to meet a special girl from Japan, and they have a new Gams Imre and a little girl Miki. He lives in these three grandchildren, and the three great-grandchildren, Andrea, Michelle and Caroline. One of the men from Apu's group was released a few days later. His grandparents on his father's side were Jews, and on his mother's side were Christians. He was raised as a Christian so he was not officially a Jew. He was a friend of Apu and his daughter was one of my classmates in the school, his name was Bruck Lajos. He said, when their group arrived at the jail in Budapest it was night and there was no light in the large, crowded cell. When they had to step into the cell they could not see if they were stepping on somebody or not. Everybody tried to find a spot to sit down and everything was quiet. All of a sudden Apu heard Andor bacsi talking quietly to Laci bacsi. Apu called their names, and they made space for him beside them, so the three Gams brothers were together after all!

How did we live during these terrible times? I don't know. I was l2 years old, and my life changed drastically not even day by day, but hour by hour. How could we live without Apuka, without his guidance? Nagypapa became stronger after Apu left, somehow he knew, Anyu needed him more than at any other time. From the middle of May we knew, we have to move to a new place, in a house which will have a yellow star on the entrance gate. Most of these houses belonged to the few streets in Fehervar where the gypsies lived, but we never even crossed those streets before. There were a few exceptions, one was Jokai u. 6. the house where my parents lived with Gams grandparents after mother and father got married. It was a huge building with a courtyard. This courtyard was surrounded on three sides by buildings. The building on the north side was older, two storeys high and had six apartments (one belonged to Kalman Bela bacsi and his family). On the south side was a new building 3-4 storeys high with modern apartments. To the west side was a huge villa, where only one family lived (that was my parents’ place when they got married), and a family named Aczel lived there at the time. Bela bacsi invited us to move into his apartment, he gave us a huge room, and Bozsi neni, Evi, Anyu, Jancsi and I moved there on May 31st. Nagypapa and Ili neni moved to one of the gypsy houses, and Gams Nagymama, and Laci bacsi's family moved to a nice house not far from the Zichy park, one of Panni neni's friends had the apartment and invited the family to move in with them. We had curfew to go outside from the yellow star houses, just a couple of hours each day, to do grocery shopping. I never visited Nagypapa's quarters, but visited Klari's; she was so important to me. The next day, we had interesting news, Aczel Marika (l7 years old at the time), Spitzer Klari l6, Szego Feri (his parents were landowners and the richest people in Fehervar), and one more boy disappeared from Fehervar. Somebody will take them to Palestine. Our Juci was also invited to join them, but Panni neni did not let her l6 years old girl go to such "danger". Everybody was happy for those children and we were praying, that their trip will be successful. (It was.)

I mentioned that the north side of our courtyard had nice modern apartments, and the Bernstein family lived there. They had a son, who was one of two privileged families in Fehervar, who had some very high decoration from the First World War and they were exempt from any Jewish laws. The family came to visit the parents and brothers and sisters every day, so we always had news, and they also could listen to the BBC, so we also heard world news from them. Gal Bozsi also visited us daily, brought food which was cooked the way we liked, and got milk for her Jancsika, who could not live without his chocolate milk. We were allowed to bring furniture into the house with the yellow star, but the people who lived there also had their furniture in the apartments, so there was not much space to bring anything. We just brought the most essentials, Jancsi's bed, and clothes, the rest was put in the tailor shop on the street floor of our house. Bela bacsi's apartment had a small kitchen, now three families cooked there. Anyu wasn't in the kitchen very often. This was one place, completely alien to her. Never spent a day in it in her life, except to give orders of what should be cooked there. Bozsi neni, who was an excellent cook fed us, and also Gal Bozsi's parcels were very important. When we still lived in our house, Gams Nagymama came to do the cooking, she did not trust Magduska with feeding her grandchildren.

We lived in Jokai street almost a week, when Mr. Bernstein came to the building, after the curfew. He came to all the three buildings and asked us to gather in the courtyard. When we were all together, he said, that from Fehervar's surrounding villages all the Jews were brought into the Eppinger brick factory today. (The Eppinger’s son, Laci was one of my classmates.) He also heard, that the next day, all the Jewish population from Fehervar will have to go to the same factory. Everybody said, that is not possible, why did we have to move in the yellow star houses just five days ago, if they wanted us in the brick factory? Mr. Bernstein tried to tell us not to listen to any logic, because whatever is happening these days, has nothing to do with logic. He advised us, to make knapsacks from any material we have (sheets, etc) and cook food, bake bread, prepare ourselves for the departure, because the csendors won't give us more than l5 minutes to pack. Bela bacsi was up all night making knapsacks for everybody in the building, adults and children. The women cooked and packed. Jancsi a day before came down with a bad case of influenza, with a high fever and very sore throat. Anyu could not do much preparation, because she had to take care of Jancsi, so Bozsi neni and Evi told me what to do and I did the packing. We hardly had a wink of sleep when the csendors woke us up, at 5.30am. The day of the allied invasion, the day we were waiting for so long! With the allied army on European soil, we will be liberated soon! This was the day, Apuka was waiting for when he listened to the BBC! Of course on that day we did not know any of these important happenings, we only knew what happened to us on the first day of our personal ordeal, June 6. l944. Mr. Bernstein was wrong, we only had ten minutes to evacuate the apartment, after that a csendor stood at the door and did not let anybody in. We had to sit down in the courtyard. Jancsi was still very sick, constantly cried, he wants to go back into his bed and wants to sleep. To make things worse, it started to rain. Anyu held Jancsi in her lap and tried to soothe him. Then came the command, everybody has to go through the Aczel apartment, families together, for a personal search. Anyu was so occupied with Jancsi, people left her alone, and we were the last one to go through. Meanwhile we heard rumours: they take away all the jewellery, watches, money. Women had a vaginal search and they did that to girls my age and younger.Could any Jew hide something in their children!!?? I was terrified. The people who went through the search had to go to the other side of the courtyard, but the toilets were around our side and people had to pass us to go there, so the rumours were probably right, going to the toilet they could say a few words to the person close by. Finally it was our turn. Anyu broke down when they took her wedding ring, it was never off of her finger since Apu put it on their wedding day, and we also stood in their former bedroom. I had a gold-chain and a medallion with the picture of an angel. They took it off from my neck. We had no other jewellery, because we gave them to the Jewish Community weeks before. I don't know, if we were lucky to be the last family, and the csendors were in a hurry, or they had some heart seeing how sick Jancsi was, but we had no body search, neither Anyu nor me, and we could keep most of our things in the knapsacks. The rain stopped before we left the Aczel apartment. There were two trucks on the Felmayer Factory side of our building and they were already full with luggage and people. We had to climb on the truck, but where and how? Somebody just tossed Anyu, Jancsi me and the knapsacks on and the truck started to move. People around me tried to hold me down, because the way I sat, I was constantly sliding down. Anyu could not help me, because she held Jancsi in her arms. The truck passed the railway station and was on the way to the brick factory. We did not know the location of the factory, we never saw it before. We reached a railway crossing, a train went by, so the truck stopped. I started to slide again, and when the truck started to move, I fell down. Without any thinking, Anyu with Jancsi jumped down to be with me, and a man who was nearest to me, his name was Deutsch Bela, an engineer and a friend of the family, followed us. The truck left us behind and we discussed where could we go now. Mr. Deutsch's son and wife were on that truck, so he wanted to go wherever the brick factory was, but he said, we could escape if we wanted to. Anyu said where could she go without money, without any papers with two children, one of them sick who could not walk because of his fever. Our whole family was probably in the brick factory, which is where we belong. So we started to walk on that road, hoping to find the place. In my opinion, we were the only people in Hungary who volunteered to walk to that place. It was not too difficult to get there. The noise and confusion were loud and easy to follow. Our truck was the last one on that day, everybody was off the trucks, the parcels were on the floor. Gams Nagymama was at the gate waiting for us and somebody from the truck told her what happened on the road, and gave Nagymama our belongings. Poor Nagymama was sick with worry, and did not know if she wished we could escape or we should be in the brick factory with everybody else. Well she did not have to wait too long, because we arrived, Deutsch Bela carrying Jancsi. Nagymama's truck arrived much earlier during the afternoon, and she met Pollak Nagypapa who was looking all over for us, so they arrived also earlier on the same day.

The brick factory was on a large piece of land.It had a small office building, occupied by our guards the gendarmes. Huge structures were in the yard with a roof and pillars. The purposes of these were to dry the fresh bricks from the factory. Now there were no bricks, but 5000 human beings from Fehervar and surrounding areas. People tried to find spaces in the middle of the "structure" so if it rains they will be protected. Nagymama waited for us at the gate from the time she arrived without thinking that we should have a dry place for ourselves. When we looked for a little space to put down our meagre possessions and lie down on our blanket, all the good spaces were taken and we had to settle at the very edge. All we could do was pray, that it would not rain. The place was not exactly ideal for a sick little boy. Anyu had aspirin for him, we could also find many doctors among us, but they could not do anything for him under the circumstances. Somehow we fell asleep on that first night. The first people who arrived from the country a few days ago started to build latrines, because there were no toilet facilities at all. The latrines were open, there was one for men and one for women, but we had to undress and do our business without any privacy and it was one of the worst things at the place. Next morning we walked around and tried to find Nagypapa, Margit Nagymama, Ili neni and Miki. They had a better place than we, in the middle of their barrack, but there was no space left for a toothpick, not for the four of us (Gams Nagymama stayed with us) so we stayed at our place. We also found Klari and family, they had a better place too, but were unable to keep a place for us. We did not get any food in the brick factory, and there was no water-tap. Water was brought in on a street-spraying truck and all four of us had to stand in line to get enough for washing our self and to drink. Because we were warned the day before by Mr. Bernstein to pack enough food, we had more than the rest of the family and could give some to them. Also on that day, Gal Bozsi heard we are in the brick factory. She knew Jancsi was sick, and came to the brick factory fence to look for us. Somebody gave us her message from the fence and we found her. She always brought some cooked food and milk for Jancsi. There were more people from the city who came every day to help their fellow man, but not too many. The factory was not paved. Everything was always dusty and dirty. We heard that we will not stay here very long, we will go somewhere to work. Families will stay together. We should not worry. Life was difficult there, we thought no place could be worse than the place we are in now!

Jancsi started to get better. He could play with Miki and I spent most of my time with Klari. She had her l2th birthday on June 9th. Her "present" was: her beautiful hair her parents let grow since she was born, had to be cut so she will have less chance to get infected with lice. It was so long and thick it reached her buttocks. Everybody had to have short hair, so there should be no danger to get lice. Also on that day, Bozsi came and had a letter in her hand from Apu. Apu and Anyu's wedding anniversary was June 8th and he wrote her a letter, we still have it today, it is our most important heritage. At the end of my memoirs, I will copy that letter for the future generation to see. Bozsi checked our mailbox on Szogyen Marich street and found the letter. There are no words to describe how happy we were with that letter, it was the first we got from him since he left on May 13th. He wrote, that he was together with his brothers and in Sarvar's internment camp. So far they are all O.K. and hoping for us the same.

Now comes the second horrible day in my life. It is difficult to say which day was not horrible during l944, but the day we parted from Apuka and the day we parted from everybody else were the worst. On June 13th, we tried to get some sleep, it was already dark, probably around nine o'clock (we had no watches), when a runner came by our barrack yelling our name: Gams Imre and family and some more names which we did not listen who they were. Nagymama's first reaction was, stay put, don't go. All of a sudden Nagypapa came to us, he also heard our name yelled and thought we should not go, but the runners kept coming, people recognized us and urged us to go, so they can go to sleep. We walked to the front gate, our family followed behind us. We were a group of 26 people, all prominent in the city, and when Anyu checked them over, almost all belonged to the Bernstein family, except Dr. Szego a lawyer who was the past president of our city's Jewish Community and presently a member of the National Jewish Community. There were a Grossz Ferenc and family, he was in the scrap-iron business, and the only missing Bernstein family member was a Grossz Ferenc who had a fine china store on Main Street. Interestingly, Deutsch Bela was there with his family, but they were closely related to the Bernsteins too. A German officer met us at the gate, politely (which was a miracle by itself) asked everybody's name. He asked where Apu was, and asked two times, are we the only members of Gams Imre's family. Anyu answered yes, and he wrote down our name in his notebook. He did the same thing with all the others, and said, we could go back to our quarters. With Nagypapa and Gams Nagymama we tried to figure out what was that about, but could not find an answer.

Next morning, the 14th of June the runners came again, everybody has to pack, the lager will be emptied, we will go somewhere to work. When a barrack is ready to go, they have to stand in line before the gate, we have to walk to the railway yard which was not too far away and we will go to our destination on a train. We need water (from where? The water tank came around 10AM daily) and food for 3-4 days. We started to pack, when the runners came again, yelling the names of those 26 people who talked to the German officer the night before. The whole family surrounded us and was horrified. They will take us and kill us at once. What other explanation could be possible? We should be hidden among the crowd, there is no way we will go separate from the rest of the family. The runners came again and again and we had no choice, but to go with Nagypapa, Gams Nagymama, and the rest of the family behind us. The same German officer was there, and told us to leave the camp and stand close to the gate, but on the outside. When Nagypapa started to walk with us, the officer stopped him, NO, ONLY THE THREE OF US COULD GO. Nagypapa looked us, and started to cry, “They will take my daughter and grandchildren and shoot them!” By that time everyone of us was crying, and Nagypapa went to the officer, kneeled in the dust, hugged his boots, and begged him, he will tell him all about his Swiss bank account, if he leaves us alone, and let the family stay together. Dr. Neuhauser a lawyer, Nagypapa's good friend and at the time the President of the Jewish Community, ran to him, picked him up and told him: For Gods sake Rezso, stop that! They are the ones who will live! We all go to die!!! We still don't know today, if he really knew, or just had a feeling. Later Dr. Neuhauser was on the train going to Auschwitz with everybody else and he was as old or older than Nagypapa, so they ended up in the gas chamber together. After Dr. Neuhauser’s words, Nagypapa came to us, hugged us, and told Anyu, she had to go on without him. We will be all-right. In those precious last three minutes, he told Anyu all the places where he sent his money and the account numbers, the names of the contacts in Switzerland, England and USA, but who could blame Anyu, in the next minute she forgot all of that! She was hardly able to walk those l0 steps from Nagypapa's arm to the gate, and Jancsi and I were not in any better shape. We looked at the rest of the family, and left the lager. All 26 of us stood outside the gate, crying. The German officer said, a truck will come for us and will take us to a safe place, but who could trust a German officer? Most of us thought, that we will be killed.

Slowly the lines from the factory to the Railway Station started to move. I remember a lady, who was a good friend of Anyu with her beautiful four-year-old daughter. Mrs. Berndorfer and little Kati walking, Kati pushed a doll carriage and a doll was in it. A gendarme went there, took out the doll, gave it to the girl and throw the carriage far away. Kati was screaming, wanted to run to the carriage, but her mother kept her in the line, sobbing. The Berndorfer family owned the newest and most modern apartment buildings in Fehervar.

All of a sudden we could hear the sirens, there was an air-raid in progress. We had many air-raid sirens in Fehervar, but never any bombing. There was no bombing now, but the transports, leaving the brick factory to the railroad station stopped for a half hour. After the all clear sirens, the transport started to move again. The only family member we saw in the lines, was Gams Nagymama. When she saw us, she started to come closer, but a csendor pushed her back to the line, and that was the last time I ever saw her sweet face. So from now on, she cannot keep her promise to Apu. I have to be the one who will take good care of Anyu and Jancsi

Close to noon hour a gray truck arrived, the back part was covered with a canvas. When the driver opened the canvas, we could see benches, enough space for all of us and two German soldiers with their guns. We had to get on that truck, but the soldiers did not push us, they were actually polite, and helped us to climb on. We had three small children of Jancsi's age, three-four young teenagers, and six elderly; the rest of them people in their 30s or 40s. On the truck we had millions of questions from each other, mainly; where are we going, and if they want to shoot us, why are they so polite? We were all seated, the last seats taken by the guards with the guns, the canvas was back in the closed position, and the truck left the brick factory. We were not allowed to talk, but the people who sat beside the canvas, found some small hole in it and it was possible to see through. They tried to follow the road. They said, that we are on the road to Budapest! That made the least sense! Why, O why?! After about one hour drive, -it takes that long to go to Budapest- we heard whispering; we really are in Pest! There are people with yellow stars walking on the street! Is this possible, just an hour away from Fehervar? They are not forced to go to the ghetto? What are we going to do here? Millions of questions and no answers. The answer came soon, the truck stopped at the front of a nice garden, inside were lots of people, whole families, looking O.K. and curiously looking at us. We were escorted into that garden, everybody asked: where did you come from? Our guards left us, and the leader of the camp came to greet us (a Jew) and asked if we would like to freshen up first or eat? We thought we came from hell to heaven!! We all wanted to drink and eat first, we sat down beside tables with tablecloth, cutlery, plates, glasses and were offered tomato soup as the first course! After lunch we were escorted to our accommodation, it was in a wood barrack, bunk beds with mattresses, blankets, pillows, sheets, we got the lower bunk, big enough for the three of us, and at the end of the barrack were bathrooms with toilets and showers. Separate for ladies and gentlemen. Walking around the camp, we were told, this place is the former Jewish School for the disabled (deaf, blind), the large red brick building was the school, the smaller villa belonged to the principal of that school. There was a beautiful garden around the buildings. One side opened to Columbus St 46, and the schoolhouse side opened to Arena Rd. There were a lot more people in the camp now to fit them into the buildings, so they built the extra barracks. We wanted to know, who are the people who came before us, and how did we get here and why? Most people came from Transylvania (Erdely) cities, Kolozsvar, Nagyvarad etc. From the mainland of Hungary, Szekesfehervar was one of the first to be deported, so we were one of the first groups who arrived to this Camp and escaped deportation. Why? Why us? We received explanation for the first question, but after almost 50 years, we do not have the answer to the second question. The only plausible one is: it was a miracle! (I leave the chronological order now.) Joska and I visited Szekesfehervar in 1994, 50 years after the deportation. Of course we visited Gal Bozsi who at the time was 82 years old. She told us an interesting scenario. Apu was loved by everybody. He did not have any enemy. The leader of the local Fascist Party named Rockenbauer, was a good customer in our store. He had a motor repair shop, and he made Jancsi’s bicycle and his miniture car. His shop was very close to ours. When the Germans occupied Hungary Apu went to see him and asked him to save his family. Mr. Rockenbauer gave Apu his word. According to Bozsi he kept his word and put our name on that list. He asked Bozsi not to tell us in his lifetime. He died recently. We know, our name was the last on the list the German officer had in the brick-factory. We were in the Kasztner Rezso camp.

Kasztner Rezso was a Zionist leader from Kolozsvar who knew what would happen to the Hungarian Jews if the Germans would occupy the land. When it happened, he desperately tried to save as many as he could. He was a representative of the World Jewish Organization. Until the spring of 1944 his job was to save the Jewish refugees from other German-occupied countries who escaped to Hungary. Today, people accuse him of withholding the information about the real danger of the Hungarian Jewish population and with his calming words did not give the people a chance to save themselves. He said, there would be too much panic and he sincerely believed, he would be able to save all of us. Of course the end result couldn't be worse! It is easy to say today: People would not go like cattle into the cattle cars. Today we know the train’s destination, but Hungarian Jews were still innocents, would trust the Government! In Hungary savage things could NOT happen!

I am getting away from our story. During 1940 many areas of Hungary, taken away after the First World War became Hungary again. Among these lands was Transylvania. Kasztner with his friend Joe Brandt went to Budapest, from Kolozsvar (Transylvania) after the Germans occupied Hungary. In April 1944, Kasztner talked to the leaders of the National Jewish Community Center and told them what will happen to all the Hungarian Jews (he had information about Auschwitz) and wanted to have a plan to save as many as possible before it is too late! Nobody had the solution, so he acted on his own. He got money from the American Refugee Fund, and offered money to Eichman if he would save lives. The Germans came up with an idea: if the Germans would get 10,000 trucks (the Germans were close to the end of the war, there were shortages for many things) he would let l000 people live! Kasztner tried for more lives, but that was the only number he got. How to choose l000 people from about 650,000? He was a Zionist, so he tried the Zionist leaders from every city, and the chief rabbi, with a few other prominent persons. His home town was Kolozsvar. Kolozsvar had the most people in our camp, he saved as many friends and family members as he could. From other cities, the list was made out according to his original plan. So far the exception was Fehervar. We had no Zionist leader and our Chief Rabbi, who was a famous Talmud scholar, Dr. Hirschler Pal was not among us. We had the whole Bernstein family, except the china store owner Grossz Ferenc, but we had another family with the same name. Obviously he heard his name called, and answered sooner than his namesake. There was Dr. Szego who was "real" as a prominent member of the community, and us, the three Gamses. Kasztner Rezso’s office had a secretary in Budapest. Her name was Grossz Juliska, originally from Szekesfehervar. The Bernstein family members were her closest relatives. Who could blame her, she wanted to save them?! There is absolutely no logical explanation, how did we get involved in that business. Nagypapa did not hear of Kasztner, he obviously did not arrange to put us into the group. He would not beg the German officer to let the family stay together. Apuka was a Zionist, but not a leader, his wish was always to go and live in Palestina, but he did nothing outstanding to fulfill this wish. As soon as we arrived to the Kolumbusz Street Camp, we wrote him a letter to the Sarvar address he gave us in the wedding anniversary letter. He answered from Sarvar. He and his brothers kept asking why their families are not with us? So obviously, they didn’t know anything about this camp. They were also prisoners since the second of May, so it was impossible for them to arrange our name on that list. One theory was, that we were there because of a name change. Panni neni, Laci bacsi's wife was a good friend to Grossz Juliska, so maybe she wanted to save them? In this case, somebody made a mistake on the list and marked Imre instead of Laci. This is a very unlikely theory, because the person could write Istvan, or Jozsef, or any other name, but it was clearly Imre, and such a person did exist. The saddest part is, if we could know what the Kolumbus Street camp was about, on the 13th of June, the night we first met the German officer, Anyu could say she had five children, Miki, Klari, Juci would be saved. Maybe even Ili and Panni neni would come back. Certainly Gams Nagymama should have been on the list as a family member of Gams Imre. Didn’t Dr. Neuhauser our Jewish Community President know about this camp? If he did, he would change some names for his own family. Why was he not able to do that? How did he know, that we are going to live and the rest of the people will die? Did he guess? So many questions. Anyu died in l989 and never found the answers, I guess Jancsi and I will go the same way. The fact is, we are the miracle children of Fehervar, because in l945, the two of us were the only living ones.

I am writing this postscript on February l998 during editing my memoirs. During l997 I received a book, written by Jozsef Schiller (A Strasshofi Mentoakcio tortenete es elozmenye.( The book was written in Israel. (The Story of the Strasshof Refugee Actions). We heard after the war, there were trains from Szeged and Debrecen arriving in Austria instead of Auschwitz. The story was at the time, the person who was working for the railroad, changed the route of the trains and were directed to the West instead to the North. Families who were lucky enough to be on those trains, stayed together and lived. They had to work, but it was farmwork and there were no cruel guards. People died of natural deaths, but nobody was killed and after the war, they came back to Hungary. According to my book from Israel, the real destination of those trains was also the work of Kasztner Rezso. He did save as many as he was able to!

Going back to Gal Bozsi(s theory, it is as good an explanation as any. We were at the bottom of “The List”, so it is possible the local Fascist Party leader saw it, and added our name.

During the first week of our stay in camp, Anyu was invited to the office. She was told, Apu's name was on that list, so he will come with the Sarvar transport, but Anyu has to "donate" certain amount of assets for the cause. Anyu willingly did so, and we were so happy, played always around the gate and waited for the group from Sarvar. We could write to Apuka in Sarvar and received one letter and one postcard from him. In the first letter he asked what kind of a camp are we in? Is it an internment camp like they are in? Are we there because he was interned? Why aren't Nagymama, Bozsi neni, Panni neni and the children with us? What happened to them? Where are they? Andor and Laci bacsi never heard from them since the beginning of June! The postcard, was addressed to Anyu, and Vera 12 years old and Jancsi 7 years old, which indicated to us, that’s how people in his camp were separated. He acknowledged that only the three of us are in Budapest, he was relieved, that at least for now we are in a safe place. Take care of yourself and each other, be good and pray, that we all will be together soon.

Meanwhile, a large group of people arrived from Szeged. The group had the chief Rabbi Low Emanuel, and the President of the Jewish Community among them. Anyu was happy to see Varga Piri's Ili neni’s best friend's family among them. Piri herself died a year ago from tuberculosis, but her little girl, Julika was in the camp. Another group came from Debrecen. Our camp started to fill up. Around the third week of June we were told, Kasztner got permission from the German Authorities to send the people from our camp to Palestine. We were all photographed for passport pictures, we also received passports. At this time, the very rich of Budapest started to come into the camp, among them the baron Weisz Manfred and family, they were the richest people of Hungary, owned Csepel, the biggest and internationally known machine factory in Hungary. Kasztner needed money to give it to the Germans, to save lives.

We had a date for the departure to Palestina, but first this camp will be evacuated and we will move to the Arena Road Jewish Synagogue. We spent about two days there, and one morning the trucks came, and the departure started. I don’t have to explain what this meant; it was departure from the uncertain future. Away from the war and danger! People couldn't climb fast enough on those trucks. Everybody, but Anyu. She went to the office, and pronounced, she will not move anywhere without her husband. The group from Sarvar is not among us yet, so she will wait, and go with the next transport (it was promised, that there will be an other). The leaders in the office did not want to believe their ears. Here was a woman, with two children, who had the opportunity to escape, and she does not want to go! Dr. and Mrs. Szego came to talk to her, but she did not listen. The children could go, and there were plenty of families from Fehervar who were willing to take us, but she is not going without Imre. Of course Jancsi and I were also unwilling to go, and there were probably l0 other persons who stayed, everybody else left.

This is an insert after I attended Montreal's Hidden Children conference during October l994. I was looking for people who were with us in the Columbus St. Camp, but could not find anybody. I found a lady about a year older than I, who knew about the camp, and specially about the group's departure to Palestine. Her family were very well-to-do people, they owned a jewellery factory. Her uncle tried to put the family in the Columbus St. camp, offered a large amount of money and jewellery, but because of the very limited number of people who could be on the "list" they were not accepted. On the day of the departure, his uncle took his family to the railroad station with a bag full of jewellery and money, begging the authority to let them on the train, but there was no space and at the end of the day they had to go home. Because they lived in Budapest, they were lucky to survive. Her name is Dolly Tiger and she lives in Montreal. She also sent me a book written about our camp by an English writer, and we have the photocopy of that book. It is written in English by Robert St. John “The Man who played God.”

After our camp was evacuated from Arena Street, we went back to the Columbus St. camp. In a few days our numbers increased again from groups from different cities. One day the people from Sarvar came and when we heard, we flew to the gate to meet Apuka, but he was not there. Anyu ran to the office, when is he coming? Sorry was the answer, this is the only group from there. On that day, we lost him again!

Life in the camp was easy going. We had plenty of good food. Mr. Szasz sent us money, we could use it in our camp store. All kinds of activities were organized for the children and the adults too. I found a friend, to replace Klari, of course only temporarily. Her name was Lebovits Agi, she was the same age as me, and came to the camp with her ten year old brother Oszkar. They lived in Bekescsaba, and were in the wagon with their parents going "to work" (we know now, they were on their way to Auschwitz.) Their parents probably knew their destination, and tried to save the kids. They found a loose board on the floor of the wagon, pried it out and lowered the children down the hole. Can you imagine the bravery of those parents? The children were also brave, they found each other between the rails when the train was gone. Somebody found them, brought them to Budapest, and Kasztner let them come into our camp. After the camp was liquidated, I lost touch with them. I hope they and their parents did survive.

After the first group left and we got back to Colombus Street, we had better accommodations in the villa which belonged to the school principal. We had a bunk-bed (upper) in the former bedroom, right beside the bathroom. It became very handy in a short time later. Jancsi became ill again, but this was more serious than the influenza, he had hepatitis. His skin became yellow, had fever, had diarrhea. The camp doctor saw him, and said, this is contagious, he has to go to a hospital in Budapest. At the time we had no idea, that the people of Budapest were the only ones in the country so far saved from deportations. The people of Budapest and us, waited every day, knapsacks ready, to go any time to follow the trains where our families and friends formerly departed. We had experience, we knew when the deportation starts, the first stop is the Hospital, they will take the sick first. We had every reason to believe if Jancsi will be sent to the hospital, we will never see him again. Jancsi was marvellously saved once already, we will stay together, we won't let him be taken away from us! Luckily the other people in the room understood the situation, and helped us to hide Jancsi. Anyu and I were up many nights, brought him to the bathroom, gave him medicine. We got the special food he could eat (applesauce, ground dry cheese are the ones I remember). He recovered completely, but until he did, we lived in a nightmare, always worrying, that he has to go to a hospital.

Our life in the camp was regulated by our elders, the camp committee. We had our doctors, lawyers, we were governed like it was a small city. Once Anyu had some trouble with the law. Jancsi already recovered from his sickness, and played happily with the other little boys. One of them threw a stone, and it hit Jancsi's head, and he had a small skull fracture. He came in the room, crying and bleeding. Anyu asked how did it happen? A boy did it. Anyu was on her way to the doctor with Jancsi, and with lots of little boys around the area, wanted to know, which boy did it? That one, was Jancsi's answer, he didn't really care, he just wanted his headache to go away. Anyu ran to that boy, and gave him a good licking! Of course that boy ran to his mother, and they went to the camp court, to present the case. Anyu got a summons the next day, she had to go to court, apologize to the boy and mother and had to buy some chocolate, for compensation.

On one side of the compound was a large fence, facing a street. We were allowed to write to anybody we wanted, so we wrote everybody we knew in Budapest that we are here. Anyu had uncles and aunts, cousins. The most important one was Ibi neni, she and Anyu were always pals. As soon as she received the letter she came to visit us. We had no official visiting hour or even a place for that, but the fence was an excellent opportunity to meet people from the outside. There were children playing around, when somebody from the outside came for a visit, asked one of the children to find the person, and the meeting took place. Ibi neni came regularly, with some food parcel, but the company was more important. Ali's mother whose name was also Ibi neni came with Ali, (she was Aladar bacsi's daughter, another brother of Pollak Nagypapa) and Margit Nagymama's sisters, Goldheimer Szidi neni (close to 80 years old), Kende Jeno bacsi and wife Giza neni, and the one we loved most, Horvath Olga neni. They gave us money, because we had a small camp store and could buy things. Food was available for us in the camp store when Budapest had shortages already. We felt bad about accepting money and food parcels, but we were sure, after the war ends, Nagypapa will pay them back. We were most curious every time somebody came; did they receive any mail from our loved ones? The answer was always No. Every person’s concern in our camp were the loved ones, who were not able to be with us. What happened to them? We received no answer. In August came the first list of postcards from people taken away. The camp received the list of names who sent cards daily. Of course everybody wanted to see the list at once! Very rarely could somebody among us find a name of a loved one. We only saw one of those cards, it was pre-written, postmarked from Waldsee, and the person's own handwriting was only the signature. Where is Waldsee? It is in Switzerland! They could not be there!!! We learned after the liberation, a few people in Auschwitz got those postcards to sign and put the address on. The Germans put the stamps on. It was a lie to quiet the people at home. After the group from Sarvar arrived (July 7th) we never got mail from Apuka. Also we noticed the few people who got a Waldsee card was from sisters or brothers, none from parents or children.

One of the favourite occupations for my age group was to organize a seance. We sat around a table, had a paper with large letters and numbers written the ABC, we put a coin over and one of us put his or her middle finger over the coin. We held each other’s hands, and invited spirits to tell us where our loved ones are, and what will be the future, when will the war end, etc. We invited the spirits of famous people, or relatives who died earlier. When the spirit arrived, the coin started to move from letter to letter or number. We wrote down the letters and read the answers. One day in July we played again, and the spirits told us, there will be an attempt to kill Hitler. The news went around the camp as a wildfire! It was the day, when it really happened, and of course we had no way of knowing that. Only the office had a radio, and they promised, if they will hear anything special, they will tell everybody in the camp. Unfortunately our prediction was right, but the outcome was not what we were praying for!

We also had regular Hebrew language training, not only the children but the adults also, because we were destined to go to Palestina. I did well on the course, because we had to take Hebrew as part of the religious subject in school and needed the mark for our report card. We took Hebrew from grade one in the elementary school and one hour religion and one hour Hebrew language in the polgary. I could converse, read and write in the language. Unfortunately I completely forgot to speak it, but I can still read.

July 1944 was the month the bombing of Budapest started. Until then, we had air-raids often, but we did not pay any particular attention, just routinely went down to the shelter. The main school building had a large shelter, but it was not big enough for everybody, so a trench was built, and adults could go into those. Families with children had to go to the shelter. About this time, somebody had the smart idea, that little boys had to stay with their father in the men’s barrack. First we were not concerned, because Apuka was not with us, surely Jancsi seven years old, could stay with us. Unfortunately, that was not so, and he had to move. A kind man offered to take good care of him and found a bed beside him. We were together all day, Anyu could tuck him in bed at night, but than we had to leave him. When the air-raid siren sounded, everybody in the camp ran to the south side to the school building except Anyu and me, we ran east to get Jancsi first, because he never woke up for the sound. Anyu gathered him in her arms, and we were always the last to get to the shelter. There were many bad bombings during that summer, one was particularly close, the building beside the school had a direct hit. We were jolted on our seat, but nobody got hurt in our camp, not even people who were in the trenches. Many died in the building with the direct hit. We started to say, the Americans knew we were in that camp and spared us, which was nonsense. It gave us some hope, the outside world knew about our suffering and wanted to help. How naive we were! During August l944, the Second World War's end came nearer and nearer. Italy left the alliance, and so did Romania. Thanks to the Swedish diplomat Mr. Wallenberg the deportations stopped. Budapest seemed to be saved, but all the other cities and villages were Jew free. The last ghetto to travel to Auschwitz was Sarvar. We heard more often, there isn’t any need to send another transport to Palestina, we could wait at home for the liberation. We also heard the first transport did not go to Palestina, instead to a German city called Bergen-Belsen, where they waited to get permission to go to Switzerland, and around November they got that permission. They were not in the horrible famous Bergen-Belsen camp, but in one, similar to ours. (We found this out after the war.) We could get day passes, to leave the camp and visit relatives. What a thrill this was the first time! Jews were allowed to travel on the streetcars, but only on the last carriage. If there was only one car, we could travel in the back. Even that discrimination could not take away our happiness! We visited Ibi neni, stayed in her apartment for four hours, ate in the diningroom, took a bath, went shopping! Only somebody, who lost all these privileges could appreciate it!

The biggest cloud over the blue sky was: neither us nor anybody else from the camp did hear anything about the whereabouts of our families.

Toward the end of August and the beginning of September our Columbus St. camp was ready to close. We were invited to the camp office and were offered an apartment in Budapest to move into. Most of the people in the camp were from other cities, some had relatives and were invited to move into their place (but that was rare, because people had to move to houses with yellow stars, and most families only had one room for themselves), so most of us were referred to one of the empty apartments from the people who left with the first transport from Arena St and were from Budapest. We got a small apartment on Terez korut (Ring) 34, and by the second week of September we moved in. We wrote to Gal Bozsi and Szasz Zoltan, the latter had some of our money and clothing. We asked him to send both, and one day Gal Bozsi arrived with a large parcel, full with goodies. To see her was real happiness, and to taste the goodies was also important. I remember she had a large goose baked, home made bread, cookies, cakes, things started to be missing from Budapest. The Russian Army was already in east Hungary, getting closer. She also gave us money. The war will end soon for us, we just have to hold tight! The Dohany Street Synagogue was filled to the rim during the High Holidays. We all had a lot to pray for, first of all for the life of our loved ones, and our own! We also said thanks for our own miracle, but at that time we did not know, what a miracle that was! During those few weeks our life was close to normal, we had enough money to live on. We visited our relatives even with the curfews. Most important fact during those few weeks we lived on Terez Ring, was that we were free, there were no fences around us. The bombing of the City happened almost nightly. We slept half dressed, and when the sirens sounded, we wrapped Jancsi in a blanket and brought him to the shelter. He never woke up, not even when there was a hit close by.

The l5th of October was a Sunday, nice bright sunny day. We enjoyed breakfast, and planned to visit one of Margit Nagymama's sisters, she invited us for lunch. There was a small volk-radio in the apartment, we turned it on, to listen the news and some music. All of a sudden, we heard the national anthem played and there was a joyful announcement: My fellow Hungarians, our great leader, Horty Miklos announced, we are not in war anymore, our country has been declared neutral and he told this to the German leaders and also informed the Allied Forces. There will be no fights on Hungarian soil, our beautiful country is saved! What happened next, I can not describe!!! Every apartment door was opened at the same time! Our building was about 5 story high, and kind of balcony corridor surrounded each floor from the stairway to the apartment doors. People cried, yelled, danced, kissed everybody they met! We made it! We are alive! O God thank you!! It was impossible to say all the things we felt. The radio kept saying: listen to further announcement, meanwhile it played patriotic music. All the apartment doors were open, we could not stay inside, so much happiness must be shared!

Around the noon hour, they played the national hymn again and a different voice started to speak: My fellow Hungarian brothers! Horty thought he could get away from our patriotic duty to love and defend our sainted homeland. We love our country, we will defend it with our blood against an enemy invasion. Hungarians are brave, and we will prove that again. Horty Miklos is under arrest, he is not the ruler of the country anymore, and our great leader, the leader of our National Fascist party, Szalasi Ferenc is the new head of the government. We will announce the new members of our parliament soon. Our first announcement: the curfew of the Jews is cancelled, they are not allowed to leave their premises. We will send a guard to every house with a yellow star, to make sure that this announcement will be followed.

If it was impossible to describe the feeling of our people on that morning, it is easier to describe it after that announcement. This is our end, the same thing will happen to the people of Budapest that happened to the country people. Now, when the invasion is successful since June, the Russian Army is already in East Hungary! The winter is coming, but none of us will see the spring. Anyu kept repeating, we were saved once, it is impossible that we will be again! Within an hour, we had a guard at the front of the gate, there was nothing to do, but wait. We were not allowed to visit a neighbour’s apartment, just stay inside in our own. Next morning young l7, l8 year old fascist "soldiers" came with orders: everybody had to go to the balcony, and all men from l6 years to 60 have to assemble on the main floor in 15 minutes, with enough food for three days and warm clothes, they will be taken to work. Men between 20 and 45 were already in the munkaszolgalat, so only young schoolboys and grandfathers were found in the sad group. The young ones were hugged by mothers, the older ones by wives, many of the men with different sicknesses tried to tell the soldiers that the husband can not walk far or work, "We will have the cure for them" was their answer. The gates opened, the group was lead with a guard in the front and one in the back, and our own guard locked the gate. Now we were only women and children, and totally terrified.