In general, people had their own problems and they left me alone in peace. Only one boy disturbed me constantly calling me a Jew. But nobody had time to occupy themselves with me or even pay attention to me. They took care that I get food and a change of my shirt. They liked me the best of all the other children because I was quiet and obedient and they had the least trouble with me. The other children were villains. I did not play with the children. They made a mess. I was always alone and lonely. The only job I had was to pick the lice from my clothes. I was also busy walking around the people and asking for food. Sometimes I would get from people a little cracker.

Once a day in the afternoon, hot soup was served. People would line up holding their dish in their hands. I had nothing. I looked around and noticed an empty bottle lying on the floor in the corner. I immediately picked it up. I wrapped a string around the middle of the glass bottle, soaked it with kerosene that was there nearby, and lit it up with a match. When the bottle was hot, I knocked off the neck with a piece of wood. I was happy to have a dish for soup. I then lined up and when it was my turn, the man serving the soup refused to fill my glass bottle because he said, 'some glass may fall into the big soup kettle, so you have to come after I will serve all these people.' When there were no people left, I returned and he gave me from the bottom very thick soup. Later the man called, 'Who wants a repeat?' I jumped to him and he filled up my bottle with thick soup. I could have finished it because I was still hungry but I wanted to save it for breakfast for the next day.

I was sleeping near the door. The barrack walls were shaking from the constant slamming of the door by people going back and forth to the outhouse. While I was sleeping on my back, the bottle, which I left resting on the narrow windowsill above my head, gradually started moving until the bottle with the soup fell on my face. A piercing pain woke me up and my nose was cut in half. My face was covered with blood and people around me screamed, 'Oh my God!' They felt sorry for me and urged me to go and see the camp doctor. I knew that I was Jewish and couldn't show my face to the doctor because he worked with the Nazis. Instead, I tried to clean up my face and because part of my nose was hanging, I supported it by tying a string around the nose and my head. My nose did not heal very well because I did not take any medication or treatment. I suffered for a very long time.

The barracks were very tight, cold and dirty. Many of the old people and children were dying. I was also very cold but still had it much better than in the forest. It was after three weeks in the camp, that one of the neighbours, an old man, became very sick. We were all waiting for him to die. He wore good clogs and I wanted them desperately. My shoes were by now completely destroyed and finished. But the girl wanted those wooden clogs as well. Since they already were suspicious of me being a Jew, when the man died the girl immediately ran to him and removed his shoes. Again, I remained without shoes.

After three weeks we were transferred to the city Siedlce. We were a group of old people and children. They took us at night and in the morning we arrived there. One boy wanted to jump out of the train and the German shot him. Through the whole night the Germans were watching us very strictly and they were very cruel. On arrival in the city Siedlce, they took us to the Red Cross. Here many people came from the city and brought rags, and food for us, and they started to inquire from where we were and they started to take care of us. The old people went to the church and some people were picked up by their relatives or acquaintances. The Germans went back to the camp in Zamosc and we were left free. We could move with ease through the whole city. The small children were right away located in private homes but I was wandering around by myself. I had very long hair and in addition they were black. I was afraid that I would be recognized as a Jew. I asked some boys my age to go with me to a barber because I did not know the way. One woman gave me a few zloty (Polish currency) so I promised to pay them for their help. When we entered the barbershop, right away the barber shouted that we were Jews. He told us to quickly run away and he refused to cut my hair. We left his place and five small villainous boys started to chase us and call us'Jews, Jews.' They got attached to one of my friends and called him by his Jewish name Icek and said that they know him. They did not touch me but I was very afraid. I told them that they should follow us and they will see where were going. The whole way I was afraid because they called us 'Jews, Jews' loud and clear. It was dangerous since on the roads and streets the Germans were patrolling. We could get into their hands. When we finally returned to the Red Cross and entered the gate, the terrible boys detached themselves from us and went away. After this incident I never went to the city again. I sat in place and even did not associate with the boys.

I was not hungry anymore. A strange woman gave me a pair of gloves and a pair of galoshes. I felt much better. Many people would come and choose some children but me nobody wanted. They said that I was a Gypsy. My answer was, 'yes.' It was already after seven o'clock in the evening. They patrol did not want to let us through. This miss spoke German well so she talked to the Germans and they let us through. She brought me to a nice house and they gave me a thin slice of bread with a thick slice of lard. I did not even know how to eat this. They gave me a knife and I sliced little pieces of bread instead of the lard and the lard I was nibbling. They looked at me with great astonishment. I remember how I was even confused and unhappy though the food was so good. I preferred that they rather don't give me food and not observe me so much.

For the first time in a very long time I took a peek in the mirror and when I saw myself I got frightened by my looks. I was very dirty and my hair was very long and overgrown. This miss then left with me to the train station and she said that we will go to a place near Warsaw where is her home. We were standing at the station in the city Siedlce. A man familiar to this lady approached her and she said to him that she took me from the Red Cross and she wants to take me to her home to work for her. This man looked at me all the time and observed me very much. Finally, the man called this lady to the side for a conversation. She told me to wait here for her. She also added that she will soon return and to wait for her. I stood there for a long time and when I saw that one hour, two hours had passed and still there was no sign of her, I could not wait outside any longer. I was very cold, sleepy and tired, and so I entered the waiting room. There were many people sitting and sleeping there. I lay down on the floor, shrank my body, and fell asleep. I slept until the morning. When I woke up, I noticed that everybody left with their trains and only I was left alone. I did not know where to go. I was wondering in which direction to go from the train station. Since I could not figure out what road to choose, I remained standing there worried. Suddenly a cabman approached me and asked me, 'What are you doing here little boy?' I told him everything that had happened. I said that a lady took me from the Red Cross and we got lost here. Now, I don't know where to go and how to get back to my place. He told me to get in the cab and took me near the Red Cross. He also showed me the road how to get there. At the gate they did not want to let me in but again I told them the story of what had happened to me and they let me in.

I now felt like in heaven. I told everything to my caretaker. They gave me food and I was more at peace. After a few days, a peasant came to the Red Cross. My caretaker approached me and started to loudly praise me. The peasant took me to a doctor to check out my health. Since I was completely covered with lice, the doctor was afraid to touch me. I got undressed only to the waist and the doctor did not even want to look at me. He told the peasant that I was healthy. He told us to leave. This time my lice saved my life. The doctor did not check me further to find out that I was a Jew. When we left the doctor's office, on the street, the peasant told me quietly, 'Listen, you are a Jew and admit this. Because if you are not a Jew I will take you to a German doctor.' He continued to argue with me and added, 'If you are a Jew then better that I will not take you and not go with you to a German doctor.' I answered definitely, 'If you, sir, want to take me, I will go with you, and if not, then somebody else will take me.' I kept insisting that I was not a Jew. He walked away and I went back to the Red Cross. I felt embarrassed before the caretaker but found an excuse to get out of this situation. (I do not remember now what I said).

Less and less children were left in the Red Cross. People were always coming and taking them away, one by one. Only the sick, ill disposed and between them myself were left. A few days passed and again I had a chance to get out from the Red Cross. A cabman with his wife came and approached me. They asked me if I would like to go with them. Again my caretaker started to praise me what a good boy I was. They told me to take everything I have and go with them. At the market place stood their cab. They told me to get on the wagon and took me to their place not far from Siedlce. It was a country house. They had a horse, a few pigs, a garden, and nothing else. They told me to wash up and gave me a clean shirt and pants. I was freshly dressed. My dirty clothes were boiled in a big pot of water. My coat was left behind the barn to air out and they told me that I would be a herdsman. They asked me about everything. I told them that my parents died when I was three years old. My uncle raised me in a village. I also added that the Germans expelled my uncle from his home and village. Then they took him to Germany for work and his children were with me in the Red Cross. From there, different people took his children and I was left alone.

In the evening the neighbours came to visit with their children. The boys especially kept asking me various questions and I had to constantly lie. It was difficult because I had to come up with answers right away. I did not even have enough time to think about the right answers. I had to always remember what I said previously and sometimes I did not even remember. All of this tormented me very much. Before bed time they told me to say the prayers and I did not even know how to make the sign of the cross. I told them that my uncle did not care about prayers and did not teach me. Therefore, I do not know how to pray. They believed me, and the wife started to teach me the evening prayers and how to make the sign of the cross. Slowly I learned to do that. Eventually I went to play with the children. They like me very much and never wanted to play without me. Also, everywhere they went I had to go with them. My caretakers were very good to me. They always gave me better food than they took for themselves. The wife always gave me the most and the best part of the bacon. She herself would not eat and give it to me. She treated me like her own child.

The neighbours were visiting often and I was the topic of their conversations. They assumed that I was a Jew. More often they were mumbling that I was a Jew. My caretakers started to look at me differently. A week passed and they started to ask me but I did not admit to being Jewish. One day when the husband was away from home, he went to the city; the wife picked me up and checked to confirm her doubts. She saw that I was Jewish. She burst into laughter and said, 'Oh, you are a little Jew.' I said that I converted and she did not believe me. When her husband returned home, she told him that she saw that I was a Jew. They started to talk to me very friendly. They said, 'When the war will finish, you can come to us and open up a store for yourself and we will convert you to our religion.' The husband wanted to keep me because he believed that I converted. The wife did not agree. She was afraid of the neighbours. The next day, in the morning, she gave me a good meal and packed the clothes that she gave me including the ones that she boiled and washed, which I had previously. She wrapped my coat, which was full of lice in paper. Then she went with me back to the Red Cross. She reported that she is returning me back. I was lucky because when I was absent they disinfected and washed the place and the people. I got released from taking a bath because I was with the cabman and was cleaned up there.

A lot changed in the Red Cross. It was much cleaner and fewer people remained there. I left the package with my coat in the corridor. I did not want to carry this coat with me anymore. My caretakers were not there anymore. After a few days, again it was announced that whoever wants could leave this place and go to any village. They supplied carts and people spread out to different villages.

I was appointed to leave together with a family who had a little girl and settled in the village Borki. In every community on the way to Borki we had to change to another cart. We finally arrived to the village Borki and were taken to the Village Administrator. He assigned them to some homes for expelled people. The family that I came with was separately given a home. The Village Administrator turned to his wife and said, 'What a beautiful black- haired boy. If nobody will take him, let him stay with us.' I slept over that night at the Village Administrator's place. They gave me food. The next day the Administrator gave me a slip of paper and sent me with his boy to the peasant by the name of Jozef Maciejak. When I came there, I found a small family, a husband, wife and two small children. The peasant explained to me my duties. I would be a shepherd. He owned just one cow and very little field. He instructed me to graze the cow on the neighbour's pasture. I followed his instructions and once on a rainy day I was quite sure that nobody would show up, I took the cow to the neighbour's pasture. Suddenly a peasant galloped on a horse and using his whip he beat me all over my body and head while screaming at me, 'If I will catch you once more on my pasture I will break your neck.' Immediately I removed the cow from his pasture and took the cow back to the cowshed. I told everything to my peasant and he told me, 'Well, next time take the cow to the other neighbour.' He was very mean and did not feel sorry for me. Although I was soaking wet and wounded from the whipping, and it was still raining outside, he told me to chop wood.

Jozef Maciejak was very often visiting the tavern in the village and he used to come home drunk. His wife was a very nice person. She prepared for him a good supper but he looked at the prepared table and threw everything on the floor while screaming at her, 'What kind of dog food did you prepare?' He then cornered her and started to punch her face. She was crying and screaming. Her two little children and I jumped and crawled under the bed from fear that we will be next. Those episodes were repeated very often.

I was not allowed to take any bread without asking permission. I was not eating with the family but just alone by myself. I was sleeping in the barn. Although I was treated badly I was happy compared with my life before in the camp and in the forest. The peasant used me the whole summer and in the fall he sent me back to the Village Administrator. The year was 1943. I was very worried who would take me for the winter as a shepherd. While I was going to the Administrator, which was a half an hour walk, many troublesome worried thoughts came to my mind. When I arrived there to the Administrator I explained to him everything that had happened. He told me, 'I will send you to another farmer and if he will not take you I will keep you in our family.' I slept overnight and the next day he gave me a slip of paper and sent me with his son to the next peasant, Janek Szelag.

The peasant was away at the mill and his wife told me to wait. The man came back all covered with flour, he gave me his thoughts about me and said, 'I can see that the boy is very polite and good. If he would stay with us he could always pasture the cows.' They told me to stay. They did not have children. They were young people. The wife was sick and was lying in bed. The next day a boy, sent by the Village Administrator, came with a notice that I should come to his place and register. I did not know the way and how to get there. The farmer told me to take his horse but I did not know at all how to get on a horse and how to ride. I fell off the horse a few times. Later somehow I slowly arrived there. But I did not know the word Soltys (Village Administrator). On the way I met my farmer's neighbour and he asked me where I was going and I answered, 'I am going there where I was yesterday.' He answered, 'So this is here, the Soltys.' I went to the office and saw two policemen. They asked me what was my name. When they filled out all my details I said that I was from the Sniatyn Community. I pronounced very harsh the name Sniatyn. According to my accent they recognized a stranger. They started to laugh and make fun of me that I was Jewish. Right away they asked me if I know how to pray. I told them that I pray from the morning and evening. They immediately turned around my sentences and while laughing said, 'Oh, he is praying the whole day, from the morning till the evening. They ordered me to say Pacierz (evening prayer) and Przezegnac sie (make the sign of the cross). This I now remembered from the time when the wife of the cart man taught me how to pray. When I started they were constantly interrupting me. One of the policemen patted me on the shoulder and said that I was a Jew. But I was arguing. The Village Administrator answered that I was sent from the Siedlce legally and for sure I was a Pole. They signed me up and told me to go back to my peasant.

I would never find my way back, but I let the horse lead and he brought me back home. I told the farmer everything and that I had to register. I had little work to do. I was just pacing around the hut. From time to time the farmer told me to put straw under the cows or to feed the horse or to bring wood. I always had to answer various questions to different neighbours. This bothered me very much because I had to remember every detail that I told them yesterday, a day before and any other day. I had also a problem with eating. This was very bad because I was a little shy and I did not know how to eat country style and pick from one mutual bowl of food. My farmers told me to eat fast and I could not do it. I did learn a little bit. I was not suitable for work either, but easy jobs I did well. Without work I would get crazy. Often people would say that I looked like a Jew but I answered that I was not. When the neighbours would come, they would right away tell quietly to the farmers that I was Jewish. My farmers always tried to help me out with my answers and they talked for me and explained everything about me. This was much easier for me. When there was nobody around my farmers would bring to my attention my poor language and they would correct my mistakes. They tried to send me to the stores or to the neighbours as little as possible. Most of the times I stayed home. I even did not go to church. My farmers always wanted to take me with them but my excuse was that I had no clothes and no shoes, so I better stay at home. They did not insist and that is the way it was. I had a lot of trouble when my farmer met by coincidence the woman from Siedlce. She supposedly told him everything that had happened in Siedlce and that many peasants took me and left me because I was a Jew. My farmer explained to me that he knows everything but clearly he never told me about this conversation with her and was very nice to me.

Since I was a little timid and shy I did not cut for myself a piece of bread. My farmer told me that I should cut the bread because he does not mind the size of a portion I will take and he does not know when I am hungry or when I want to eat. Slowly I got the courage and was cutting the bread by myself. Obviously I did not know how to cut and instead of the bread I was cutting my hand with the knife. They were laughing at how unskilled I was. (I still have a mark on my hand). One day I got up in the morning and went to cut for myself a piece of bread and wanted to eat but the farmer's wife said, 'We Poles do not eat today. Today is a day before Holiday. Today is a big fast. It is Lent.' I opened my big eyes and asked, 'What does this mean?' They explained it to me and I replied that I would not eat. I set aside the bread and the milk but she said, 'Eat already if you started.' I had to finish my meal. Later the Easter holiday approached and I did not know what it was, how to celebrate it and what to do. In the house they did a big cleanup and were preparing a lot of food. I walked around like a stranger and did not know what to do. They cut my hair, told me to wash up and they gave me a new shirt and new pants. For me all these customs were strange but my farmers were very good to me and did not laugh at my ignorance. They only taught me and brought to my attention all their customs. In the early morning they did not wake me up. The farmer himself put the harness on the horses and they all went to the church. They left for me pancakes and cakes and told me to eat. I got up and went to the grandparents (the farmer's parents) to give the cows water to drink. Later they came from church and we all had dinner. It was good food and visitors and neighbours came. Always when they would question me too much, the farmer's wife would send me to bring wood or water. Her purpose was that I would hear less of what was said about me. I was very happy that I met with very good people and I did not have to roam through the forests in dirt, hunger and cold.

One time my farmer's wife sent me to the village store to shop for kerosene and matches. Here were a lot of people. There was also a pub, which was full with different people. The moment I stepped in they all started to observe me and talk quietly that I was a Jew. To top it off I said, 'I would like to ask for two packages of matches.' Since my Polish was bad, I said 'dwa paczki zapalek.' The shopkeeper corrected me in proper Polish and said 'dwie paczki zapalek.' Everybody was laughing and saying that I was a Jew. I felt like burying myself in the ground from shame. When the conversation was about Jews I would always get red cheeks and this would betray me, but I could not stop blushing.

When the Germans came to my farmer for the contingent, he would always tell me to drive the cows out so that I would not be at home. Some other time I experienced a great fear. When I went with the cows I noticed suddenly that Germans are in front of me. What to do? I thought. I pulled down the cap over my eyes while pretending that I was running after the cows. I turned a bit to the side and I passed them.

I used to graze the cows together with other herdsmen. We became friends. They invited me one Sunday to come to them to the village. I was stupid. One time on a Sunday I was very sad and thought that I will go to these boys. On the way to the village stood a big group of people including boys and talked. At once they started to call me names in Jewish 'Moishe wi geistu?' (Moshe where are you going?) I did not answer pretending they didn't talk to me. But to my friends I did not go anymore. Immediately I went back home. I did not use the road but walked around the barns. Continually it became worse. So much time passed. People were talking and gossiping. Rumors circulated that I was a Jew because I did not go to church, not to communion and not even to confess and most of all I looked Jewish. Constantly there were reports that the Germans go through the houses and look for ammunition, Partisans and they were saying that some Jews were caught by them. Also there were talks that a group of Jewish children were caught in the forests nearby. These were children that were going around the village and begging for food. Continually, the villagers brought up more scary things. The whole village rebelled against my farmers and told them not to keep me. They said that I was a Jew and because of me the whole village will suffer. These rumors went through all the neighbouring villages. Not far from our village was a village by the name, Strachanin. There, everybody said that Szelag was keeping a Jew, but my farmer did not admit to it. He also did not bring to my attention that he knows about it. But he always turned around and told me to hide in the rye field when the Germans will be present so that they could not catch me and send me to work. Later on my farmer tried as little as possible to let me out of the house. Autumn arrived and I was very worried that the grazing of the cows is nearing the end. If they will chase me out where will I go and what will I do? The farmer noticed that I was very worried and he asked me if I have a stomach ache. I answered, 'No, but I am sad. I am always like this.' My farmer understood me and asked if I would stay here through the winter and then the next year again graze the cows. I was very happy and told him that I would like very much to stay with him. I was already a much happier person. They got used to me and they loved me very much.

The partisans were coming to us very often. Once, I was sleeping in the barn and the door opened. A whole group of people came in together with my farmer. He told me to show these partisans where to lie down and sleep over the night. He had a flashlight which helped me to light the place and show them where the hay is so that they could lie down on it. The next day, one of the partisans told my farmer, 'you know your Jozef has movements like a real Jew. Probably he is a Jew.' My farmer told him that I came from Zamosc and was expelled. In the evening all the partisans gathered together and left.

My farmer was occupied some of the time with making vodka. Always when guests would visit he invited me to the table and I had to eat and drink alcohol together with the guests. One day I had to go with a neighbour somewhere with the horse and carriage. This neighbour got me to drink and I was drunk. I did not know what was happening to me but I suppose I talked nonsense. He said that I cursed my farmer because he said that I was a Jew. Later I got addicted to vodka and I liked to drink, though I was always sorry that I did that.

All kinds of things happened in those days. Once, the Germans came to the Village Administrator and he would go through all the homes with them where young people had to report for work in Germany. In the village were a lot of movements. Young people started to hide. My farmer told me to hide in the cornfield. I remember that I was wearing my new linen pants and I felt bad to damage them. With difficulty I had to lie down on the hard ground. I lay there until the Germans left the village.

The new Village Administrator, Bronek Wysocki was a speculator. He would always twist the people around to the Germans' benefit. There was an order from the Germans to deliver ten boys from our village to work in Germany. The peasants in the village made a meeting and one of the boys rebelled and asked my farmer why they leave me here, that he should also send me to work in Germany. He added that the boys who are needed in the farms have a lot of work and that I anyway do nothing so I could go to Germany.

After this, the Village Administrator was paid off well by a farmer and instead of his son going to Germany, I was put on the list. I got a slip of paper but I did not report. My farmer got for me a new suit and said, 'If people will ask you, say that you are going to Germany and later when the time will come to report we will take you to another village to my sister and we will say that you escaped.' In the early morning I went to the pasture with other children where I stayed the whole day until the evening. In the evening I went home and that is how the time passed. Later I slept over at my farmer's acquaintances. The grandparents (my farmer's parents) rebelled and said that they will not give me up to Germany and they will not give me away to anybody. Later, after a while I returned home. It calmed down and nobody was looking for me anymore.

After some time passed, the partisans who were coming to my farmer constantly observed me and intended to get rid of me. I found out about this from the neighbour Kozicka. Only thanks to my farmer, they did not touch me. At a later time, people were talking that the Russians are nearing and that they occupy some villages. They also said that the Germans are withdrawing. One trader who came to my farmer was always saying that when the Russians will come only the Jews will rule. He always talked about it in my presence so that I could hear it. There came a time that even the Poles were afraid to move from their places. All of them were afraid of the Germans. It turned bad for everybody. People spoke that the Germans will burn and damage complete villages before they leave. There were talks that in Siedlce the Russians are already there. I walked around and in my thoughts I wanted to live to this moment and see the Russians.

Daytime, the people said that in our village the Russians are already here. My farmer and I went to see how Russians look. On the road we met with the Russian army and there was full of army trucks, blocking the roads. Right away the conversations were very happy. The villagers greeted them 'Zdrastwujcie towaryszca' (welcome my friend) and treated them with candy and cigarettes. And suddenly, the German airplanes appeared and firing began. In the village Starachomin, a horse was killed and a few buildings were burned. Later the Russian airplanes appeared and the Russian soldiers told us that all this area is in their hands. People relaxed and started to rejoice with the Russians. The farmers offered them their homes and accepted them willingly and cordially. It was the year 1944.

They came to us in the evening. They asked us if I was the farmer's son. One Major said right away to me that I was Jewrej (Jew). The farmer answered that I was not, I was expelled. The village boys surrounded the Russians but I stood on the side and did not know what to do. I still was very afraid to tell that I was a Jew. The Major lived with us Once, he invited a guest, a Russian Major who was stationed in another village and he was Jewish. He immediately recognized me and said that I was a Jew. My farmers said that I was not. One carpenter from our village told me that I should admit that I was a Jew. His name was Zbik. But I did not want to admit it. I made a decision to leave the matter as it was because I heard that there were no Jews in the whole wide world.

Later the people started to stir up a case that my farmer should convert me. The farmer's wife gave me a prayer book so that I would learn well the prayers. Later they started to talk me into converting to the Christian religion. But I did not answer. They understood that I was not ready to go that route and they left me alone. And it remained how it was before. I was thinking that when the war will be over I will go to work in the city in any factory. In the meantime things had to remain as they were. I decided that I would stay here and wait. The farmers in the village were setting me up against my farmer. They told me to leave him and go to work for them because here I do not earn anything and with them I will have it much better. I understood that they did not want what would be best for me and that my life would be in danger. Therefore, I always said that I have it very good at my farmer and I do not intend to leave him.

I continued to work and was busy with the horse, field, hay and oats. These were my chores and the time was moving fast. When I first came to my farmer I got attached to and very used to the little horse. He filled up my free time and gave me a lot of pleasure and happiness. He was my best friend and the dearest being in my life. I named him Siwek because he was gray (in Polish, Siwy). The horse also loved me. Siwek walked only to me. The best food and bread that I had I hid for Siwek. In the whole village he was the best skilled and the fastest of all the horses. He jumped over ditches, through fields and my Siwek was always the first winner. That is how I trained him. I was strongly attached to Siwek and once when the heir came and my farmers wanted to sell Siwek, I was very worried and asked my farmers not to do that. Once at night I had a dream that Siwek was sighing and was sick. I got up, did not go to wash up, I did not even enter the house, but right away went to the stable to see Siwek. I was the happiest when I saw Siwek healthy. When the Administrator from the court came to buy Siwek I burst into tears and said, 'I don't have a reason anymore to go to the stable and no reason to stay here if Siwek will not be here.' Again it was my biggest happiness when Siwek was not sold. And again I had my dearest friend with me.

If somebody ever mentioned that I was a Jew, I would get nervous and very angry. My farmer noticed this and thought that I do not want at all to go away and that I will not go to the Jews, but he did not talk to me about this. Later, our neighbour told me, 'You know Jozef, there are no more Jews. You are used to the horses and to the fields. Stay with us and we will convert you and you will live with us. Nobody will touch you and you will have it good here.' I did not answer but was thinking that I should do that. After a while I changed my mind and decided not to do that.

Once boy in the village was my best friend. His name was Kostek Walentow. We were grazing the cows together in the forest. He went to the west to his sister. When he returned from the west, I went to him for a conversation. I asked him how it is on the trains and if they ask for documents. I also asked how it looks out there and if it is possible to get a job. He was curious why I asked all those questions. He was wondering if I have to go somewhere. I told him that I would like to go to Warsaw. People were telling me that I should go to the west for work just like other boys did. I asked them advice on how I could arrange documents for myself. My friend told me to convert and then I could get a birth certificate and I will be able to travel all over different place. That evening I was staying in his place until very late and I admitted to him that I was Jewish, but I asked him not to tell anybody. A week later he got a letter from his sister to his family in the village that he got a job and he will not return here any more. I then told my farmer's wife, 'Such a stupid Kostek and Geniek left and got jobs and did not come back. If I would have documents I would also go.' My farmer's wife asked me if I have some acquaintances, but I said, 'No, I do not.' The farmer's wife advised against travelling blindly without knowing where to go. With regard to documents, she said, 'The farmer will see the Village Administrator and they will make for you some documents.' When the farmer came home we started to talk with him about this. He told me to wait until Sunday when he will go to church and meet the Village Administrator. He will have a talk with him and somehow we will make it. That is how it was. My farmer asked advice from the Village Administrator about arranging a birth certificate. My farmer underlined that with regard to the birth certificate, it is a difficult problem because I was an expelled person from Zamosc and maybe I was even a Jew. In this case, where could we now receive a birth certificate from the Jews? The Village Administrator promised to inquire about this and give us an answer.

After a few days, two businessmen came to the farmer to buy a pig. I was helping to catch the pig and tie him up. Then we put the pig on the horse carriage and walked into the house. The farmer put a bottle of vodka on the table and some bread and lard to celebrate the deal. Janek Szelag told me to sit down and also have a drink, which I did. The businessmen started to ask some questions and they said to me, 'You look very Jewish. Are you Jewish?' I was afraid to admit that I was Jewish and my answer was, 'I am not Jewish.' They were not convinced by my answer and turned to the farmer and told him, 'If he is Jewish you can get a lot of money for him from the Jewish Congress in Warsaw.' And they left the address.

In the meantime, my farmer went to Latowicze to the farmers' market and there he found out that Jews could take back their homes only until the first of January. The year was 1947. My farmer took me to the other room and told me about this. He asked me if I have any house of my parents or uncles. I answered, 'Yes.' He talked with me for a long time and for the first time I admitted that I was Jewish and I told him about everything. But my heart nearly jumped out of happiness that I will meet Jews and I will be able to finally be myself. My farmers decided to take me to Warsaw. They started to prepare me for the road. They made for me a new coat and a new white woolen sweater which the farmer's wife Anielka knitted for me. They also bought for me a new suit, army style with military buttons, and leather boots.

On Sunday around the middle of December 1947, my farmer harnessed the horses and took us to Mrozow. We slept over at their acquaintance's place. There he said that he was going to Zamosc for my birth certificate. Through the whole night I could not close my eyes from nervousness. In the early morning we left with the train to Warsaw. In Warsaw, my farmer's wife inquired where the Jewish Committee was located. Finally, we found the address. It was a tall building. There we went in. I was very nervous from happiness as well as extremely excited. When we walked in, on the right side in the corridor, there was a table and chair. We saw no one to ask for directions. There were a few corridors and we chose one of them. We started to walk and passed many doors on each side and almost before the end we could hear some voices through the door. I put my ear close to the door and I was astonished that I could hear German language. My heart started to pump from fear and I told Anielka that this is a set up. Here are Germans and we started to tiptoe in order to move out of the building as fast as we could. Because I was no longer accustomed to the Jewish language, I thought that they spoke German. When we came near the exit door we noticed the guard walk out from the washroom and he had a long beard. Then I was convinced that he was a Jew. I was so happy because I thought that I was the only Jew that survived. He told me to which room to go and see the manager. I just trusted him and would not move one step without him. He had no choice but take us directly to this room. He wanted to leave and I did not let him. The manager had no beard and I did not trust him because in my hometown all the Jewish men had beards including my father. He greeted us very nicely and served us tea. Then the manager started to explain to me that Jews occupy the whole building and I don't have to be afraid anymore. He said that now the Jewish people are free. Anielka got some money, not much because they explained that they already finished the budget since it was already two and a half years after the war.

They got interested in me and right away decided to take me to the orphanage home in Zatrzebie. I was completely confused and did not know what they planned for me, I did not think at all. Whatever I was told I did. The first time in my life I saw such a big city. When I went to the streetcar I was astonished that so many people can take a ride here, but I was afraid of falling out of the streetcar. I completely forgot about my little horse. My farmer's wife talked me into staying here and asked me to write letters to her. She also promised that she would visit me here. I listened to her. At the beginning I was surprised that I am not afraid to openly say that I was a Jew. I observed everything around me and it looked like a New World to me. Little by little they introduced me to this new life. They explained to me all kinds of things. I started then eventually to understand that there are still a few Jews left. Many of them returned from Russia, a few survived here and I am not completely alone. Unfortunately, I did not find anybody from my family.

After a short while, our orphanage home was transferred to Warsaw to the street Jagielonska No. 28 to the student's hostel where I live at present. I am attending the continuation school for the youth and adults. I am studying the fourth and fifth grades. A new world opened up for me in the learning field. I found out new things that were until now completely hidden and dark for me. I do not want to return to the village anymore, but towards my farmers I feel a great attachment and gratitude and would like to help them with all my might. I consider them as my parents because they saved my life during the worst times. I am now writing letters to them and would like to visit them during the Holidays. They write to me very heartfelt letters. They write that they are lonely without me and that they miss me very much. I would like to go to a professional school and learn a profession. I would like to become a mechanic and go to Palestine, where there are a lot of Jews and where I would not be afraid to be a Jew.

My whole life was a big struggle, torment, and great fear. When I only start remembering all the detailed pictures, one is scarier than the other. My strongest survival was when there was the expulsion from Komarow and I separated from my mother and ran away from the Ghetto grounds, which was full of Germans and I lay alone in the field and waited for my death at any moment. Many times I had scary dreams that the Germans are still coming, they catch me and they chase me and kill me. Once, I had a dream that my brother died and my mother was alive. Now, I always think about what was and my life is not pleasant since I lost my family. In our Students' Hostel I am the most unhappy person. Every child has somebody, either one has an uncle, and the other has an aunt. If they do not have parents then they have relatives. I do not even have anyone from whom to receive a letter. I am completely alone. I am very behind with my education. At my age students already attend high school, but I am still in grade four and probably will be able to only catch up very little.

In general, I don't feel now as I imagined. My biggest dream is to find somebody from my family, or even family from strangers. I need them to counsel me as to what to do, how to proceed in life and how to behave, so that I wouldn't be alone. Because by myself, I still don't know what to do, how to proceed and I need to have an intimate that I could talk to and ask advice from.

As to my biggest heroism, I consider that when the people were expelled from their homes by the Germans, to gather at the center of the city, I sacrificed myself and pushed my mother into the hiding place instead of myself, because there was no room for all of us. Later, when I was at the center of the city with the others, I realized the situation and I ran away from the Germans and didn't even turn around when a German called me. Later when the policeman caught me and put me in jail, I escaped through a little window without anyone's help. In general, I consider my whole life was a heroic act, one big heroic deed. I played a game when I was still going to the Cheder, by pretending to be Germans. We took from the Rabbi shovels, sticks, pokers and we ran through the yard and we screamed in German the way the Germans were chasing after the Jews screaming heraus, verfluchter Hund and Jude. ('Out, you scabby dog, Jew.') Neighbours were screaming at us that we are screaming like lunatics and we answered them in German.

Jewish Historical Institute in Poland Archives
00-090 Warsaw, Tlumackie Street 4/5
In compliance with the original 301/3683
Director of Archives Z.I.H.

Postscript

In 1950 I volunteered at the Military Pilot school in Demblin, Poland. At first I flew a plane, UT-2, which was a training plane. Later I was transferred to the City Radom and flew on the JAK-9P, which was a one-seated fighter plane.

In 1957 I emigrated with my wife to Israel and worked in the Aircraft Industry Bedek, in the quality control department.

In 1968 I emigrated with my family to Toronto, Canada and worked for Douglas Aircraft for seven years.

In 1975 I opened my own business, Adam's Auto Repair, until my retirement in 1991.