EYE-WITNESS TO HISTORY: A SURVIVOR'S TESTIMONY

I, Gabriel, the youngest of nine children, we were 6 boys and 3 girls; born in a farm village in 1928. The village was located in central Poland, the province was called the 'bread basket' of Poland. There was the most beautiful river called Lyeviec which ran through the village; the water was crystal clear, we drank it, fished, swam in it. The sand on the beach was golden in color. Besides people, we also shared it with cattle and horses. In the winter we skated and used blocks of ice to put in the cellar for the summer to keep the food from spoiling. I loved the river, fished any time I had to spare.

One time, before going to school in the morning, I went fishing; I thought I would catch some before school and surprise mother but un­fortunately, the fish didn't bite so I forgot to go to school and tried to catch some. In the meantime, my school teacher sent someone to my parents to ask where I was. Imagine, my parents got panicky and started looking for me (remember I was only eight years old). The whole family was looking for me. Finally, when they found me about 12:00 noon, father took me by the hand, when we got home, he put me on his knee and let me have it with his belt and then told me not to do it again without telling someone in the family. He said the punishment you got is not because I don't like you., it's because I was happy to find you alive. School was located across from our house. Before going to school, I whined a lot to mother that I was hungry. Mother asked what would I like to eat, would I like eggs, milk, bread, pancakes, cake, potatoes. I kept on saying no. Finally, mother got annoyed and said eat stones, but when father showed up from the barn, I started to eat everything. My father was very strict but kind and I loved him and mother very much. They were the dearest people on earth to me; the older I grew, the more I loved them and my brothers and sisters.

School started at 8:00 a.m. until 12:30 p.m. After public school I had to walk five miles to the nearest town to Hebrew school. I never did like going there because I was afraid to walk home in the evening. Secondly, I never cared for the teacher because he was very strict. The teacher had a leather strap and used it. I continued going to both schools until 1940. In 1940 I was expelled from public school because of my faith. Then we had to give up our house and farm and small dairy business that we owned. We had to move in with some gentiles as roomers. We shared one room among all of us, three brothers and two sisters and my nephew, Leon. My father had no trade. We had to depend on my brother Harry to provide for all of us. I, myself, was hired by the landlord as a shepherd. It was very hard work; I had to get up before sunrise to milk six cows by hand, feed the chickens and pigs, then take the cows to pasture and make sure the cows shouldn't get into the rye, or other grains. At noon I had to bring the cattle back and milk some of them; then had lunch and had to drive the cattle back to pasture and wait until sunset and when I drove back to the barn. Then I had to feed the animals, straighten out the barn and help the lady with some other chores. Then had to go home to my family. I didn't eat at the farmer's house because my family was orthodox Jews. After supper, I had to say bed time prayers. After prayers, mother made the bed which was a wooden sofa which three of us could sleep on. I was em­ployed by the farmer until winter. So I stayed home until my older brother, Harry, had a notice to report to the Germans for work, but I went instead of my brother since he was a tailor and could support the family. I was only 12 years old but taller for my age and stronger so my parents sent me instead of him. I worked through the winter until we had notice in 1941 to come to the ghetto, to the town of Wengruf. The ghetto was all barb-wired; we shared two rooms with another family of six.

In May, 1941, the Germans set up a Jewish committee to do their dirty work and gave orders to the committee and the committee had to deliver what the Germans wanted. When they needed so many men, the committee had to deliver or else. The committee selected a member from each family; according to age and build. My oldest brother, Harry, was selected. Since he was the sole provider, my father went to the committee to spare my brother, so I could go in his place. When the day came to depart, the whole day my mother was catering to me. The whole family was very nice to me as if they knew they would never see me again. When the big open truck came around to pick me up, I had a small parcel with some food which my mother packed for me and my father gave me his leather belt which I used to get 'lickings' from and that was the belt I always wanted to wear. For the first time in my life I saw my father cry and I could not say good-bye; I couldn't even cry. My heart felt like it stopped beating - it was a terrible feeling - it was full of sorrow and loneliness. For the first time I knew I was going to be separated from my family, far away and all alone among strangers. When the truck departed, all the way to the labor camp I was crying, I could not help crying. When we arrived in the camp we had to register. A fright came over me when I saw it, it was located in the middle of a forest, barbed wire with guards standing on top with machine guns. It was a huge place; it had big barracks in large rows. We were assigned to certain barracks, each barrack had about 200 people, triple-decked so-called beds along the walls of the barracks. They were just plain boards and one blanket. I picked my place on the top row to sleep because I never liked to sleep underneath. They assembled us outside and assigned us to certain duties. I was one of the youngest boys in the entire camp. There were about 1000 men from all parts of the province of Warsaw. They assigned me to work with old and weak men who could not last very long. They used to pick out the ones who were no longer useful and send them away to the crematorium camp. It took me a couple of weeks to find out that I would not last very long in that group, not because I was weak but because they never kept a person in the same group too long. They used to send you anyway to the gas chamber because they had new recruits. When I found out what was going on, I went to the foreman and asked for a transfer to hard labor, which he laughed at me but I insisted and he gave me a test and he was satis­fied and transferred me to hard labor. Our meals consisted of 250 grams of bread and a pint of black coffee that had to last until supper time. Supper which was at 7:00 p.m. we got a bowl of soup with some horse meat. The guards inside were formed from our own men. We called them kapos and some of them were as bad or worse than the S.S. They were inside and outside watching us that we do our day's work which was to dig ditches about 5 yards long, 2 yards wide. The place was muddy but under the mud was clay. They were used for irrigation. If you didn't carry out your quota you were punished. We worked from sunrise to sunset. You had to finish your quota. Some of us used to help each other to finish before sunset.

We had to walk to camp in military form; it was two miles to camp. When inside the camp first thing was to get in queue for supper. The queue was very long, even though there were three queues. We were all starving for some food. The meal consisted of horse meat, boiled in water and some potatoes. After supper people gathered around in groups and talked about what would become of us. Some went to look for food in the garbage pile. Some of us had connections with the inside guards so they were able to get extra food from outside the camp. That favor cost plenty of money or valuables if you had it. I got some food during working hours. I would sneak out to farmers in the district and beg for food or steal. Some of the farmers were very sympathetic towards us and gave us gladly. The time I was absent from work some of my friends covered up for me. For this favor I would share the food with them. My friends were a father and four sons. They accepted me as a fifth brother. I was very grateful to them because they were tough guys and most inmates respected them and naturally, they had the proper connections. I worked hard at finishing digging ditches in time.

One Sunday, we were told to gather in the centre of the camp. We didn't know what was happening. All kinds of rumours started. Then through a loudspeaker they asked who was a farmer and to step aside. There were approximately 20 in the entire camp that stepped aside. I was one of them. A heavy-set man in a uniform came and looked at us and asked questions. Since I was a farmer I had no fear. Fortunately, I was picked from the 20 men. I was informed that I would be working on his farm. I also was told to get de-liced and cleaned up and receive new clothes. The next day he took me to his farm. It was a couple of miles from the camp. At the house I met his wife. She was rather small and nice-looking compared to him. I also met the children; there were two girls, one was about five years and the other looked. to me about three years. I was taken to the hay silo and told this would be the place where I would be sleeping. My chores con­sisted of whatever I was told to do like milking the cows and some work around the house. I was treated very nicely. However, it didn't last very long. Someone in the camp informed the camp director about me and that was the end of my working outside the camp. Apparently, there was a law that no Jews were allowed outside the camp. The farmer was some official in the village. I was told by him that he tried to keep me on the farm but he failed. Therefore, I had to return to camp and resume my ditch­ digging. I worked in the field until October, 1942.

October was a terrible month for me and the Jewish people in the ghetto. At the start of the Jewish New Year, the Germans started the liquidation of the people in the ghetto in which my family lived. Most of them were transported to the death camp of Treblinka or shot on the spot. Some were lucky and escaped to the villages or forests; some were brought to the labor camp where I was. The new arrivals told us some gruesome stories. I inquired about my family and was told that my family was rounded up like cattle and shipped by train to the death camp of Treblinka. Naturally, I was very depressed and saddened and shocked, to say the least. I couldn't sleep or work, my mind could not comprehend what was happening. I was heart-broken and lonely and decided to escape and see for myself whether this was true. I persuaded another fellow from the same town to plan our escape. The next morning when we were marching to work through the forest, we made a run for freedom. Some guards noticed our escape and yelled to stop. One of the guards chased us for a while, fired a few shots. We didn't look back, just kept on running in zig-zag direction until the firing stopped. Then we found ourselves lost. We decided to go together in one direction straight to our destination. As we went on our way, while walking through the forest, we spied three men. They looked to us like camp escapees. We approached them and had a little conversation regarding their plans, and if we could join up with them. However, they said no! Too many people are easier to spot and asked us not to follow them. Nevertheless, we did follow behind them until they came to a railway crossing. We were about 200 feet behind, still in the forest; suddenly we heard shouts and then shots. We didn't wait to find out; we knew there was trouble, so we started to run in the opposite direction. Fortunately for us that they had refused to take us along. We continued walking until we came across a river and decided to follow it as it would take us nearer to our destination (which was the village where I was born). We were very hungry and tired, the only food was what we could pick from the fields, that was barely enough. My only possession was a belt and a good pair of shoes. We decided at the next farmhouse we would ask to trade the belt for food. However, before we reached any farmhouse, some shepherds spotted us and caught up with us and took away my belt and shoes. My friend didn't possess anything of value. On top of taking away my things, we also got a beating. They were contemplating turning us in to the police. Fortunately for us, they decided to let us go. We soon forgot about our pain because of hunger. At the next farm house I decided to go and beg for food but before I had a chance to ask, the farmer knew I was Jewish and told me to leave immediately without food, and screamed at me 'You are lucky I am not turning you in.' Apparently, there was a bounty on all Jews dead or alive.

We continued to walk and pick whatever we could find in the fields to eat. We tried to avoid the villages as much as possible because in most places, there were police who were appointed by the Germans to do their dirty work, like rounding up the few Jews that escaped from the ghettos. But at certain places we had no choice that we could avoid the village. Once in the village, we pretended to act as local boys, walking and whistling but our hearts were pounding from fear that somebody might spot us and turn us in to the police. Fortunately for us we made it through. When we reached the end of the village, we sat down to rest and pray to G-d for sparing our lives. We rested for one hour and deciding what road would be best, we decided to stick with the same road from which we could see a forest not far away. It didn't take long before we were confronted by a forest ranger holding a gun and pointing it at us. He said he would end our suffering and misery by shooting us. We begged him to spare our lives but he said if he didn't kill us, someone else would. Besides he could use the reward. We were on our knees begging him to let us go. He had his finger on the trigger aiming to shoot when a farmer was passing by the forest. The farmer stopped and asked the ranger to let us go. While they were arguing, this was our chance to run away. What a wonderful human being this farmer was to save our lives. This encounter with death will always remain in my memory. It was an act of G-d, even though I had doubts about the supernatural. After the Holocaust my religious upbringing was shattered, to the point of being cynical about my faith. It was not easy for me since I was brought up in a strict orthodox way. I am still tormented regarding my faith. Many times when I am depressed or sick, my memory would flash back to the experience in the forest with the ranger, when the farmer ap­peared from nowhere like an angel who was sent to save us.

It was a long and weary journey. It took us 4 days and 3 nights to reach the outskirts of the village. Nearby was a summer resort which catered especially to T.B. people. We were about 5 km. from the ghetto. It was late in the evening and dark and cold. My friend Pasach thought it would be best that I should wait here while he goes to see some old friends of the family to get some food and find shelter for the night. I was waiting for about 2 hours, getting rather cold and frightened and hungry and there was no sign of Pasach. All kinds of thoughts were going through my mind, some of them frightening. I could wait no longer. I feared to be found. I changed places and got closer to the village and slept through the night in a silo. The next morning I went back to the meeting place but there was no sign of Pasach. Hoping I could find my friend but deep in my mind I knew I wouldn't see him again, for it was easier to find shelter for one rather than for two, so I went back to the village of my birth and knocked at the door of a farmer whom I thought was a very good friend of my father's. When the door opened and he saw me standing at the doorway the whole family was shocked to see me alive, in dis­belief. It took a few minutes for the shock to wear off. I asked about my family's whereabouts. They thought that everybody was killed or taken to the gas chambers in Treblinka. Anyway, they offered me clothes and food but couldn't offer shelter because that would endanger their lives. I felt as though I was some criminal. Leaving the so-called family friend, I was surprised and shocked. I felt that everyone had turned against me and most likely my family, if anyone survived. But thank G-d, not everyone was against the Jewish people. I was desperate and hungry and my own village was my only hope for survival. I gathered some courage and went to another farmer where I used to play with his children. I knocked at the door. It was late in the evening, when the older man opened and. looked at me, he thought he saw a ghost. He made a cross on his chest and head with his hand. 'Is this really you, Gabriel?" I said 'Yes.' Immediately he asked me in. He wasn't sure of me so he asked some questions about my family. After that he was sure it was me. I told him and his wife and 2 children (the girl was my age, the boy was three years younger) that I was hungry. He looked at his wife and immediately they gave me all kinds of food to eat and he told me to come back at night for he wished to talk to me. I spent the remaining hours near the river which was very close to his farm. Many thoughts went through my mind, thinking about my parents, brothers and sisters, whether any of them have survived the liquidation of the ghetto. While sitting on the river bank staring into the peaceful flow of the water, I could see my entire childhood and environment of my family as though nothing had happened. Nightfall arrived very fast; I got up from my peaceful dream-like place and back to reality. I left the riverbank so I could keep the appointment with the farmer who had news for me. As I approached the farm which was cradled by many trees, I was very nervous and many thoughts entered my mind. When I approached the house, the farmer was waiting for me by the entrance of his home. He was a very stern-looking man, however, he was to be of good character and honesty. He was well-to-do. Inside the house he revealed to me that one of my sisters is hiding in his cellar; also my brother Izzy is wounded and could be found outside the village in a barn. I received from him some clothing and food. He allowed me a brief visit with my sister, Ray. I tried to find out from my sister what had happened. Was anyone else alive but she herself was still in shock. I told the farmer I would be back in a few days to get my sister. I had no difficulty in locating my brother, Izzy. We embraced each other and cried with bitter tears. He was in a very poor condition physically; a bullet had penetrated his right leg below the ankle while jumping off the freight train to Treblinka, the death camp. The leg was swollen and full of white puss in the wound. He had no medical treatment since he jumped from the train. I went back to the village to get some help for my brother; he was in terrible pain. I could see in­fection was setting in; something fast had to be done.

On the way, I was trying to decide who would know about medication and willing to help. There were no doctors or druggists in the village and some of the Poles were not exactly friendly people toward Jews. As I re­member, the majority were indifferent to our plight. That doesn't make them less guilty than the other ten per cent who took part in exterminating the few remaining Jews who were lucky to escape the ghettos or camps. Saying all that, I must say there were about ten per cent who would risk their lives to help us in any way they could; otherwise, none of us would have survived.

I remember when I was about ten years old, before the war, I would ask my father 'Why do they throw stones at night in our windows' and in school some of the boys used to call me dirty names, also say 'Go back to Palestine.' My brother and I were the only Jewish boys in school; some of them were bullies and mean; we had many fights.

I decided to complain to the teacher. I remember my parents used to say nice things about him. It didn't help very much then but when I was looking for somebody who could help my brother Izzy, I remembered the teacher. When I knocked at the door, a boy about my age opened the door and started to shout 'Gabriel is here! Gabriel is here!' .... like he had seen a ghost. Everybody came running to the door to look at me. Finally, they invited me inside and let me tell what I came for. The teacher told me what to do about the infected wound and gave me all kinds of medicine and bandages to treat the leg. After I cleaned his wound and bandaged it, my brother felt much better, he could walk with a cane after. I moved him into a barn upstairs where the farmer kept his hay for the cattle to feed. It was much warmer and closer for me to bring food without being noticed. The farmer expected to get paid for hiding Izzy on his premises. I told him I would reward him handsomely. In the meantime, I was hanging around the village figuring out where to hide and wait to see if anymore of our family would show up. The nights were getting cold, especially when I had to find shelter in hay lofts or barns. Everyone knew who I was but very few would have anything to do with me, as though I had a contagious disease. Food was very hard to come by. There was no price limit that the farmer would ask for his food or shelter. Everybody knew my father was very nice, so they wanted to benefit from our plight. Most of our wealth was converted into yard goods and stored at some farmers that my father trusted. Since yard goods was the most valu­able commodity to exchange for food or shelter, the most common advice was: Give yourself up, you have no chance of surviving.... why suffer ... The majority sympathized with us but that was as far as they went. The odd farmer was willing to take a chance for a price.

It took about three weeks after the liquidation of the ghetto before the rest of the surviving members of my family showed up. Harry, my brother, two more sisters (Rachel and Hinke) and my nephew Leon plus Arthur, a friend of Harry and Ray's fiance. Each one had their own unique story of how they escaped the Holocaust; for instance, my brother Harry, hiding under dead bodies until the German and Polish police left the cellar. Then at night he fled to the village which was 10 km. My sister, Hinke, also jumped the train bound for Treblinka, the death camp. Rachel lived in a city called Yadow which was about 30 km. from our village. She posed as a Polish woman visiting her parents in another village with her son Leon. None of them looked Jewish and that was a great help for survival. My youngest sister, Ray, was the first one to escape the ghetto by some miracle and made it to the village. We reviewed our situation and planned a strategy for hiding ourselves during the winter. Harry went scouting for a farmer who would hide us for a price and one whom we could trust and wouldn't betray us. We also decided to split into three groups; then we would have a better chance to survive. Most of the villagers knew about us being in the area but didn't know our hiding places. We also made it known that if anyone of us was killed by the villagers, we would retaliate by setting the entire village on fire; since all the buildings were made of wood and straw roofs, it wouldn't take much to level the village. Therefore it gave us a better chance of surviving and made the villagers think twice before doing away with us, once we found the willing farmers whom we trusted and negotiated a deal. Some of us were hiding in the cellar, others in the barn under­neath the ground, and in the attic. We got two meals a day, one in the morning, the other at night. All activities were done at night so as not to attract any attention. As I said, there were many German collaborators who would inform on us if they knew where we were hiding,

As a matter of fact, somebody did inform on our first hiding place. One December morning, German and Polish police surrounded the entire farm and started to search for us, first by questioning the farmer and his family, but they held firm and denied that we were there. The police were searching every building on the farm and screaming 'Jude kom raus!' - Jew come out -. We heard all the commotion going on; we said to our­selves this is it. We were terrified but decided not to come out until somebody discovers our bunker underneath the stable. It was built strong enough to hold two horses on top. The police were inside the barn and poking with their bayonets and screaming in German to come out, but we stood fast and silent. After a while they left empty-handed. The same evening the farmer told us how they tortured him and his family to tell where he was hiding us. The farmer and his family also stood fast and did not reveal our hiding place, fortunately for us. But at the same time he told us to leave so not to endanger his family. He thought some neigh­bour must have spotted us at night. We got in touch with my brother, Harry and he found for us a place in a building that the farmer stored hay for the cattle; but there was a condition ... he would not supply any food. We had to get our own food. This way he wouldn't be held responsible, if we were found by the police, he could say he never knew we were there.

Our morale was still high despite the horrible shock we went through. At the same time, we finally realized that mother, father, my niece of four years old, went to the gas chambers of Treblinka; so did my married brother Israel, his wife and three children, plus the entire Jewish community. There were very few who escaped the claws of the Nazis and those who did manage to evade the Nazis had little chance to survive. The environment was against them, they had no idea how to survive in the forest or fields since they were all city dwellers; so they wandered around the villages until somebody informed the police and that was it. The fact of the matter is that out of 30,000 Jews in that particular ghetto, and the surrounding area, only 100 Jews survived the Holocaust. We prayed and hoped the war would end soon, We believed that men and women all over the world would get together and stop that evil man and his followers from committing such atrocities to innocent people. The winter of 1943 was very cold and plenty of snow and we had to move quite often from place to place, because the neighbours used to find out and threatened to expose the farmer who was hiding some of us. I guess they were jealous; some farmers were making money from us. The ones who were exposed had to look for a new place. Myself and my nephew, Leon, were hiding in the village alderman's hayloft. It wasn't much of a hiding place but it was quite safe because no one would suspect an alderman harboring Jews. We were treated very well; we had plenty of food to eat, we stayed there for about two months.

One afternoon, a phenomenon happened which I cannot explain even to this day. To me, it was very real. While I was sitting with my nephew in the hayloft, all of a sudden, my mother appeared in front of me from nowhere. She walked around me and my nephew as real as I always knew her in life. Although there was no two-way communication, nevertheless, mother started to talk to me in a low voice as she used to do and I could hear her say 'Go out from here.' She repeated this sentence several times. I began to cry and so did my nephew but he didn't see or hear anything. I was shaking like a fish out of water; something strange was going on with me. I told my nephew we must leave right away because mother was here and told me that we must leave immediately. He started to cry and was frightened to leave. He said if they see us in the day­ time, they would kill us, but I insisted we go, for I was the older one and he was to follow my decision. We left the hiding place and started out across the village to the nearest forest which wasn't far away. The same night, we went to meet my brothers and sisters so they could find a new hiding place. I told them what had happened that afternoon and before I had a chance to finish the story, my brother interrupted me and asked us where we were when the police raided the alderman's hayloft and couldn't find anything. Apparently, they turned the place upside down but there was no trace of us. It was a mystery to the alderman and a miracle for us. Nobody believed my story but to me it was very real and it will remain real for the rest of my life. Afterwards, we spent most of the time in the forest and fields during daytime. Night was our daytime, so some of us could go to the village and buy some food for the rest of us. The reason to hide in grain fields during late summer and autumn was that it was the safest place; nobody would dare to trample the grain. The grain to the farmer was more precious than life. He would inflict the greatest injury to anyone who dared to trespass on his field, whether it be man or animal. I have seen many fights among neighbours over a cow trespassing and in some cases fights to the death.

We lived from day to day and moved around from field to forest so not to be restricted to one pattern of movement, otherwise it would be easy to track us down. We stayed in two's or three's together; this way we had a better chance of not being wiped out at once. We learned this the hard way; in the beginning we almost lost our lives when we were hiding in one place. You may recall, the first winter when the farmer was raided, but we were spared by some miracle; since then, we split into small groups,

The local people who tried to betray us and get the reward wanted to get us all at once so as not to leave any trace, in case we would try to retaliate against them. We made it known before that we would retaliate if they would try to kill us one by one, and that is what kept them back from killing us.

We had many elements to overcome; one was the weather, especially during the rainy season; if anyone should get sick we had no way to get proper medication. This was one of our biggest worries; then, there were occasional raids from time to time by the Germans and that was terrifying. You never knew who is going to be caught and killed by dum-dum bullets -- that's what they used. I remember one time we were informed about a raid to take place to capture us all in a certain day. One of the local policemen informed us about it. We were very thankful to him and we rewarded him handsomely. So we scattered far away from the village wherever we could find a safe place to hide until everything was over. I chose the cemetery; it was old and full of nice trees and shrubs. I stayed there for two days before I came out. The time I spent in the cemetery I don't think I could ever forget the terrible things that went through my mind, especially at night. Every time a branch moved or firebug flew, my heart would jump out of fear. I just closed my eyes and prayed after that particular raid. Fortunately for us, no one was caught. We continued as before, hiding in the forest or fields. The summer I experienced a strange dream. I was day-dreaming during one afternoon or maybe I was in deep thought. Suddenly, a big German shepherd dog appeared and tried to bite my throat. I gave a scream and opened my eyes and realized it was a nightmare. Nevertheless, I was terrified by the thought just the same.

The same night, I was supposed to go to the village to pick up some cloth. I said to my sister Ray that I am afraid to go because something terrible is going to happen to me. Ray said don't be a baby and stop believing in dreams; nothing is going to happen to you. So when night approached I started on my way. It was about three km walk. About one km was through a guarded forested area. The rest of the way I followed the river so to bypass the main village. Suddenly, a big shadow of a man ap­peared on the water. I felt a terrible fright; I contemplated whether to go or turn back. Before I had a chance to make a decision, a voice shouting Halt! Halt! in German. I didn't wait to meet whoever it was ... I started to run as fast as I could toward the village. I heard shouts and gunshots but none of them hit me. I didn't turn around to look. I just kept on running through the village, among the barns and houses until I lost him. I didn't go back to our hiding place for fear of someone following me. Instead I stayed in the village in an outside cellar through the rest of the night and following day, hoping no one would discover me. The fol­lowing night I went back to the fields where we were hiding. My family was worried to death; they thought for sure I was caught. I told them of my experience. They were all happy to see me. We spent most of the summer and through harvest time in the fields.

The winter of 1943-1944 looked very bleak for us. First of all, our assets were dwindling down and we were not sure how much longer the war would go on. We figured our assets should last for about six to seven months; in the meantime, we had to secure some new hiding places for the winter. My brother, Harry, and sister, Hinke assumed the roles of mother and father - it was fine with the rest of us: after all, they were the providers, in essence, we all pulled in the same direction, otherwise, we could not survive. Everyone had a role to play no matter how small. It took a month or so before we secured a couple of hiding places for the winter. This time, we concentrated away from the village about four km in a hamlet. The hamlet consisted of six scattered farmers. We knew everyone and everyone knew us. Anyway, we made a deal with a well-to-do farmer; he was well known and respected among his fellow farmers. He could only accommodate six of us; the rest of us had to find some other place to hide. The hiding place consisted of a bunker next to the cellar which was built in the house. It was extremely hot and damp but it was no use to complain. We felt rather fortunate to have this place.

At night we used to come up for fresh air and stretch our legs and relieve ourselves. We were treated with dignity and well fed. There was one small problem; the farmer had three sons, two of them young men. We were afraid they might ask my sisters for sexual favors, because my sisters were the most beautiful girls you could imagine. But to our surprise the farmer sensed that something was bothering us, and he told my sisters not to worry about his boys; they won't ask the girls for any favors he assured us and that was a great relief for us.

The farmer said not to worry - nothing bad is going to happen to my sisters, and promised to hide us as long as possible. We stayed there the whole winter. In the meantime, Harry and Izzy were hiding in different places and changing quite often. They also worked as tailors for different farmers in exchange for shelter and food. It was rather an uneventful winter. At the same time, we took in a woman and her 10-year old son. They were let go by a city family after her assets ran out. Fortunately, for her and her son that we found them wandering around aimlessly and took them in as our own family and lucky for her that my brother, Harry, took a fancy to her. He found a hiding place for her so they could spend some time together. We also came across a man in his thirties; he too joined our family. Unfortunately for him and my sister, Rachel. My sister Rachel took sick in the spring of 1944. We had to find a better place to hide for her; the bunker was no good for her respiration, so we found a place in the middle of the village. The couple that took her in had no children and were anti-Nazis and good friends of my brother Moishe, before Moishe emigrated to Canada in 1936. The man and his wife were building cement blocks and bricks. After a couple of weeks, my sister felt better and was joined by the man whom we found in the spring. He had a grenade on him and swore not to be taken alive. Unfortunately, somebody 'squealed' on them and the next day, two Polish police surprised the couple and knew exactly where my sister was hiding. The police dragged them out in broad daylight and shot them dead. Fortunately for the police, the grenade did not go off. The village people buried them outside the village near the forested area. Most of the villagers were very upset about this incident, They didn't want to be known as Jew-killers and most of all, reprisals against them when the war will come to an end. As everybody knew, the Germans were retreating on all fronts; it was a matter of time only.

The year 1944, we lost a brother-in-law (Haim). He was shot while coming back from the village with my sister Hinke. They went to the village to get some food for the rest of us. At that time, we were hiding in a forested area about six km from the village. We figured the shooting was done by a person who knew my sister and our family; it was a de­liberate killing of my brother-in-law (Rachel's husband) because he was an outsider. I presumed so, otherwise, the killer or killers would have shot my sister. The summer of 1944 people in the village were willing to help openly in any way they could. Most of the people there were still collaborators with the Germans; even those collaborators were starting to have second thoughts. They knew the consequences when the Russian army would liberate that part of Poland. The fact is when my sister Ray and her boy friend Arthur were invited for dinner to the farmer, while they were eating two chimney cleaners entered the house to tell the farmer they are here to clean the chimney. Arthur panicked and jumped out through the window and sister Ray was left alone. At the same time the chimney cleaners grabbed my sister while she was trying to escape. They dragged her through the village to take her to the city police to get a reward. Fortunately for my sister, they went as far as the blacksmith's shop when a dozen villagers surrounded the chimney cleaners and told them to leave her alone. While they were arguing a woman shouted to my sister 'Run! Run!' Naturally, my sister took her advice and ran outside the village and hid in a potato patch until evening. The same woman went searching for her and found her hiding in the potato patch, shaking from fear. The woman took my sister by the hand and calmed her down and gave her some food to eat and assured her that nobody is going to harm her. The same night, Ray came back to our meeting place, still in shock and told us what had happened.

We spent most of the summer and through harvest time in the fields, since this was the safest place to hide. Prior to our liberation, upon hearing the march of the soldiers, we were sure that the arriving forces were the remnants of the defeated German wehrmacht, thus insuring our inevitable death upon discovery. We hid patiently in the stooks watching the soldiers every movement.

Fear was in everyone's heart, until one moment when the army was nearly upon us, one of my sisters screamed out. 'Die Russen zeinen du! The Russians are here!" Never had I felt such ecstasy as at that moment. It was as if I had been resurrected. Mere words cannot describe the sudden vitality and flow of spirit that went through me. My every hair stood on end and my blood tingled. The joy was beyond comprehension and until this day I have yet to experience any mental or physical satisfaction as I did at that moment.

During the time that followed, after we had been fed and clothed, only one thought was present in our minds -- to get vengeance on the local people and the Germans for the atrocities which had been committed; yet, at the same time, none of us fully realized what atrocities had been done and to what extent. We went back to our village to see what remained and upon arrival, the villagers flocked to us like ants to honey, embracing and expressing sorrow for what had happened. They all claimed to be friendly and benefactors of the Jewish people but in reality, we knew them for the collaborating informers and murderers that a great many of them were. They offered to return our property but we refused for we knew that some of the people of the village would come at night and finish us off. We therefore, moved to the city with other survivors of Wengruf and the surrounding area. We numbered about 30 people. About a week after we had settled there, we once again moved away because of the hostility which we experienced from the local population. They were afraid the people might try to reclaim their property which the Poles had taken during the German occupation. We were a constant living reminder of their sins and they wanted us out so badly that they came at night and began to murder us one by one. After a young man of about 20 had been murdered in cold blood one night the entire group of about 30 Jewish people packed up their scant belongings. Everyone went their own way but the final destination was common to all - Eretz Yisrael. For there was not one person in his right mind who wished to reside in a godless land with a prejudiced, corrupt and evil people. I myself, plus Ephraim and Naphtali followed the Russians westward towards Berlin. Each time the Russian army conquered a new city, we would follow a day later. We looted, ate, drank and took revenge.

An experience we had in Danzig is very vivid in my mind. While occupying a house with a German couple we met up with a Russian lieutenant. After a few drinks and chit-chat, the lieutenant decided it was time for some girls. We asked the lady of the house if she could recommend some friends. She offered herself but we wanted young ones. I suggested we do our own hunting. As nightfall had approached, I knew of a place where a few young girls resided and since I spoke German, I proceeded to lead the rest of them. We arrived at the house and since the doors were locked, my friend gave a typical Gestapo knock ... a continuous rhythmic knocking of extreme intensity. A few seconds later, someone came to the door and asked who is this? I announced in German "This is the police, open the door immediately!" When she opened the door, the three of us walked in and announced that we were here to visit her girls, upon which the mother began saying that they were sick and had syphilis. However, we were too drunk to listen to reason. We went in, did our thing and left.

I travelled back and forth from occupied Germany to Poland in quest of making easy money, mostly buying from the Russian soldiers and then selling it on the black market. My main objective was to acquire some wealth and go to Israel. Everything was going my way until I decided to leave Poland for good. In the fall of 1945, my friend Tolek and I made plans to go to Austria and from there eventually to Israel. All our wealth was exchanged into U.S. dollars and cold coins, It was well hidden in the heels of our shoes, in loaves of bread, in our clothing and so forth. We knew the border crossing quite well. We thought we had it made. Unfortunately, we had a rude awakening when we tried to cross the Czechoslovakia border; we were caught inside Czechoslovakia about five km. from the border waiting for a train. The border police asked us for passports; we had none so naturally they took us to the police station, disrobed us naked and searched every piece of our clothing. They even looked in the rectum; to our dismay they found everything we possessed. All the gold coins and dollars were put on the table in front of us. They gave us a choice; keep quiet and you can go wherever you are going, or you can go to jail and be deported back to Poland. Naturally, we kept quiet and proceeded to Austria, penniless. I shouldn't say penniless; they provided us with some food and some money -- enough to get to Vienna, Austria.

Once in Vienna we got in touch with a Jewish organization. They in turn placed us in a youth organization who were responsible for the youth who wanted to go to Israel. My friend Tolek and I were sent to Italy to join a kibbutz called Gordonia which was located in Barrie near the Adriatic sea. The kibbutz was a brand new experience for me. I met all kinds of boys and girls from all over Europe. Most of us were very nationalistic towards Israel. Most of us were eager to go to Israel and fight for our homeland. However, the leaders had different ideas; we had to have some military training before any of us could sail for Israel. In the meantime, we had to learn Hebrew since most of us spoke the language of our country, or Yiddish. Everybody had different chores to do. My friend, Tolek and I had special assignments; we were assigned to go back to Poland and try to recruit young boys and girls to come to the west like Vienna and from there, eventually to Israel. The reason for choosing us to do that particular assignment was because we knew most of the border crossings from Poland into Vienna.

It was a life full of adventure and purpose; it was most gratifying to know that you were doing something of great importance and some day the Jewish people would have a homeland of their own. Most of us were eager to go and fight for our homeland. The ones who had some military training were sent by boat to Israel; unfortunately, not all got through; some ended up on Cyprus, in camps. The British navy was patrolling the sea and whenever they spotted a boat of Jewish refugees, they escorted them back to Cyprus. I spent about two years in the kibbutz and decided to see my family. Some of them were already in Canada, especially my two brothers who left Poland before the war. My oldest brother, Joshua, I couldn't remember and my brother, Moe, whom I remembered a little. Mother used to tell stories about Moe, how adventurous he was; when he was home nobody would dare to throw stones at our windows. Everybody in the village knew how tough he was; he would catch the culprit and beat the daylights out of him. While he was home, things were normal, but when he departed for Canada in 1935, actually he didn't want to go but father made sure that he went. Moe cried like a baby. I remember my mother took him by the hand and gave him a hug and a kiss and both of them left to the city to catch a train.

When my two brothers received my letter and a picture of myself prior to my letter they didn't know if anyone of our family had survived. My letter was the first to be received in which I informed them who had survived. The funny part of the letter is that I did not know their address so I marked the envelope 'Moe and Joshua Miller, Montreal, Canada.' Fortunately for them letters without addresses went to a Jewish organization and they traced the proper party. It took about three weeks before I had an answer, also some money inside the envelope. We corresponded all the time and I told them I am planning to go to Israel. They asked me to reconsider and come to Canada and stay with them for a while and then I could make a decision regarding Israel. My brothers were eager to see me and talk to me. They went as far as making papers to come to Canada as an immigrant, but I had different ideas. I wanted to see Europe; so I crossed the Italian border and ended up in France illegally. While in France I took the train and went directly to Lyon, because the train didn't go any further. I had some money on me. My French wasn't too good, so the first thing I did I went to the open market and tried to find some Jewish person who I could communicate with. Fortunately for me, it didn't take long before I met a Jewish merchant and he invited me to his house and I ended up staying for one year, until I left for Canada in 1948,

While in Canada, my brother, Harry, my brother Izzy, and my nephew Leon were already there. They arrived from West Germany a year before. The same year that I arrived, two months later, my sister, Ray and her husband, Arthur, and their baby daughter, Gita arrived. I could say life wasn't easy for us; we had to start from scratch; my brothers, Moe and Joshua, couldn't help very much. Joshua had three children to support, he didn't earn very much as a tailor. Moe was single; he liked to help but unfortunately, he barely made a living for himself. I had great aspirations before coming to Canada. My aspirations were dampened when no­body could help me financially. So my brother Moe took me under his wing and tried to teach me a trade, since I had no trade. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I worked as an operator in ladies' wear for about four years but I was very unhappy; so I decided to quit and go into business for myself. I didn't have much money to start, neither did my family; anyway, my sister Ray and my brothers encouraged me to go ahead; I had free room and board at my sister's place. I had saved up about $1000.00 and got a loan of $500.00 and I was in business for myself as a custom pedlar. It was hard work but it was rewarding. I made more money in one year than I made in four years in the factory.